[mittens]

So the girl up the street and I are friends and we talk alot so every one thinks I flirt with her. I don't, all we do is sit there and talk about random things. People all ways say ''stop flirting'', ''don't waste your time your ugly'', and tons of stuff like that. Usually I just blow them off and keep talking but it finally got to the point(another one of my freak outs) where I just got so mad I fucking went after a girl. Seriously what the hell's wrong with me. I've felt like an ass hole and an idiot all day and I've also been holding back tears up all day.

I don't know what's going on with me this sucks. I've been trying to calm down or think normally but I can't. I'm freaking out and I don't know what to do. The last time I was this confused, angry, sad, and just wanting to give up was when my mom died.

This is so messed up. I don't know what to do and this post isn't going to make much sense because I'm confused and not thinking what I'm saying so I'm sorry.

I'm freaking out nad now I'm crying what the hell's wrong with me? The reason I'm mad isn't because of things people have said to me it's because I'm furious at my self. The reasons for that are because I've let my self become over weight, do horrible in school, have a huge anger problem, curse uncontrollably because I thought people would think I'm cool but they don't(this was fourth grade) and now it's a habit of mine, I yell at teachers, start fights, and hurt people for no reason at all. There's plenty more but this is all I can bear to put down right now.

I try every day to get my self back to normal... as I'm righting this I'm realizing that I'm not trying hard enough. As of right now I'm going to turn my life around and go back to how I used to be which was really good.

Thank you to all that have helped me with anything and Which ever person in the techpb crew decided to put in this section, thank you so much or I wouldn't have realized that i need to make a change in my life.

I'm going to post this to show that if you're having problems in your life, it doesn't mean that it's other people's faults, most likely it's yours.

Thank you techpb for understanding and giving every one on here a chance, I really appreciate it and will never be able to thank all of you enough.



-Alex a.k.a. mittens

[TechPB-Mike]

first post!

[HeyHeyHey]

okay you might just want to calm yourself down and sleep. When you wake up you will be able to think more clearly.

[IplayPAINTBALLandSTUFF]

TechPB-Mike, on Jul 12 2009, 11:15 PM, said:

first post!

I woulnt expect that from you...

id expect it from like Prome or something

[ABOMBER760]

TechPB-Mike, on Jul 12 2009, 08:15 PM, said:

first post!

lol what a douche

anyway yeah I'd just go to sleep for a while, sleeping really pieces you back together

This post has been edited by ABOMBER760: 12 July 2009 - 10:26 PM

[HeyHeyHey]

IplayPAINTBALLandSTUFF, on Jul 12 2009, 11:22 PM, said:

TechPB-Mike, on Jul 12 2009, 11:15 PM, said:

first post!

I woulnt expect that from you...

id expect it from like Prome or something

yeah I was thinking that too...dick move mike

[skipy35]

holy shit, this is eerie, i have the same problems, and shit, we even have the same name. thats eerie, go get some sleep, it tends to help people think clearly. honestly, i didnt think anyone would ever post anything if someone spilled their heart and soul out on a paintball forum.

[DarkEgo06]

HA! mike... hehehe

[schmidty11111]

DarkEgo06, on Jul 12 2009, 10:31 PM, said:

HA! mike... hehehe

fag
lol but seriously mikes mike and he does watevr he wants haha
cause he can kick the shit out of any1 that pushes back lol
but make sure your doing what you want to do not what other ppl want/make you to do

[awesomo12000]

Don't let shitheads push you around like your their prison bitch.

[quackSH]

Everyone has their own problems but dont let things get to you. I used to be an angry person but im not anymore because i stopped caring what other people think of me. If someone says something mean to me I just act happy and say something back in a cheery voice, trust me it works. I do bad in school also, but I dont get angry at myself anymore because im used to getting sort of crappy grades. The key thing is to just not worry about it.

[antifat]

If your sad, watch porn.








Seriously, if your still sad while watching porn, you've already failed basic instinct priority #1.

[skipy35]

antifat, on Jul 13 2009, 12:32 AM, said:

If your sad, watch porn.








Seriously, if your still sad while watching porn, you've already failed basic instinct priority #1.

win! actually, from a biological standpoint, hes right. playing smackie like a nintendo for a while releases chemicals into your body and calms you down.

[sergeant spaghetti]

Maybe you're doing these things because you subconsciously think ou had something to do with your mother's passing?
Sorry if I'm getting too personal.

I'm no psychiatrist and I have no intention of disrespecting you. I'm just trying to help.

If you don't have anyone you can vent with personally we at the forums are always here for you.

[sergeant spaghetti]

There's nothing wrong with you.. Every young lad (including myself ) must learn. Girls are bitches in their teen years.

[antifat]

sergeant spaghetti, on Jul 12 2009, 11:40 PM, said:

Girls are bitches in their teen years.

Problem solved.

[skipy35]

antifat, on Jul 13 2009, 12:46 AM, said:

sergeant spaghetti, on Jul 12 2009, 11:40 PM, said:

Girls are bitches in their teen years.

Problem solved.

i think you have now crossed the boundries of creepy!

this is true, all of us lust learn, i recently have been screwed over by a girl, wich has made me realize somthing, all girls are bitches. the trick is, finding the one that isnt as much of a bitch anyone else agree?

[antifat]

I am the essence of all that is creepy and perverse.

[skipy35]

i have noticed lol, i do believe you have a more messed up mind than me... you are among few.

[PrometheanFlame]

IplayPAINTBALLandSTUFF, on Jul 12 2009, 10:22 PM, said:

id expect it from like Prome or something

What am I, Batman to you kids?

"Quiet! Don't start another dumbshit thread, or Prome will swoop in and kick someone in the taint!"

Anyways, I hope that you're able to get some professional help, Alex. No, I'm not saying that you're crazy or some shit like that...I'm saying that there's nothing wrong with admitting that you're having a really hard time dealing with life. I went through some of the same stuff you did when I was younger, and talking to a counselor helped. The medication didn't, but I didn't really give it a chance, either. Then again, my anxiety and frustration wasn't as intense as yours, so it might be more effective in your case. I don't mean to imply that medication is going to "cure" you and turn you into an awesome person...but when you have a headache, you take some Tylenol (or whatever), right? It can help you find some balance in your life. Talk to your parents about it, and see if that's a possibility. If they can't afford it, you should be able to talk to the school counselor for free.

You have to start somewhere, and you're young, so don't think you can take on the world alone. You're not alone. The world is teeming with people who are full of hurt and secrets; who think that they have to be able to handle everything on their own. You don't. If you go on carrying this pain by yourself, it might eventually crush you. The human mind is such a fragile thing, and sometimes all it takes is one bad night to make you do something truly stupid. If you really want to show up all these miserable people who shit on you every day, do it by finding your confidence and happiness. You'll get through it, man. Have faith in yourself.