[Zhoyle]

Well, in 1998 my Mom, Rena Lailani Hoyle, was diagnosed with cancer. I still do not know what type specifically it was because it was so rare they have no idea how to treat it. So, they took text book rules and treated it like Ovarian Cancer. She had upwards of 20 surgeries, ranging from cutting out the infected area and following it up with chemo to removing her bladder completely and reconstructing it from intestinal tissue. She had had all the radiation a persons body can phiscally take, the last round gave her radiation burns on her lower abdomin that made the skin raw and unable to heal, they fixed it with skin graffs. My Mom went through close to every Chemotherapy drug on the market, including experimental drugs. In the end, thank God for health insurance, because the finally tally was in the 5 millions medical costs. She fought that awful disease for 10 damn years. She was/is/and will always be the strongest person ever in my life. She touched so many peoples lives. She always went to the church and was always ready to help anyone in need. Our front door was always open. Some of my best friends told her she was a better Mom to them then even their own mothers. In the short 16 years that I knew her I never heard an unkind word leave her lips. October 31, 2008; in the early hours of the morning my Dad got a phone call from the hospital saying his wife, my beloved mother had gone on, to a better place, just one week after my parents 26th anniversary. My whole family has been crushed, I was out playing freaking paintball when my Dad needed me most. That night I came home and found out, I wanted to kill someone. I was pissed at my Mom, for leaving us, my Dad for not stopping it, God for giving us this burden and the whole damn world for going on its coarse oblivious to the life changing event that I was going through. But, yet, I found comfort in the fact that she was no longer suffering, for the last month she had been in unbearable pain and no amount of drugs could keep her consious and pain-free. So it was for the better, but and the same time, she won't be there to tie my Tie at Prom, watch me get that diploma or walk down the isle and kiss the bride. The anger and hate is gone, but the pain is still there knawing and it will leave a huge scar. I write this as a way to cope. If you are reading this now, call your mother, and tell her you love her, young guys ,go find her and give her a hug. Below are some pictures of my mom, so you guys can see the most amazing person to have ever touched the lives of those around her, one with my Dad, and one of me when I was like 3. I'm serious, tell your mom you love her, cause when the casket is in the ground, it won't matter that she grounded you or you had that fight, you will know that she loved you and you loved her. That's all that matters once the fat lady sings. Goodnight guys, I have a math test tomorrow, and if my Mom were here now she'd say, "Get off that paintball website and go study! You can't play paintball working at Burgerking."

-Zach

[Zhoyle]

Thanks man. When i got to the funeral home, the highschool, football team, paintball team, and the local shop all sent my family flowers. That and the 17 next texts and 8 new voicemails, it means so much.

[SOUP]

your family is in my prayers. I yet to know what it is like to loose a parent and I know how I would feel if it happened. Keep strong and God bless you and your family...

[Zhoyle]

Thanks Soup, I hope you don't have to carry that burden for a good long time.

[pballer823]

I am terribly sorry to hear that. I give you the best of luck to you and your family.

[RL_33]

Really sorry to hear something terrible like that happen to anybody especially a fellow baller. Stay strong through this time and she will always be there with you in spirit, i know what it feels like to have a family member diagnosed with cancer( i have three )

[Vachon]

Sorry to hear that...stay strong and keep your chin up.
Btw what you wrote is really touching, you write really good
Just keep on prayin'

[Cubeman]

so sorry to hear that, remember she is in a better place. wish you and your family well. My grandmother passed in May and I remember how it feels. she was my closest grandparent.
best wishes,
Cubeman

[Old Dude PB]

So sorry to hear about your loss, Zhoyle. Your note is a wonderful tribute to your mom. She sounds like a great lady.

Chris

[uranub132]

Im sorry for your loss, but you are right, she is in a better place now which is pain free. Just remember that she will always be watching over you in spirit and that you just have to continue living your life the way she would have wanted you to. God works in funny ways, be happy that she is finally at peace.

[Captain Hollywood]

I am sorry for your loss man... I too have lost a parent to Cancer. My father, Perhaps my greatest inspiration in life. It has almost been 5 years since he has passed away now.. Your tribute was truly touching, Keep your head up through these tough times, Because in the end It will get better. All your fellow ballers at TechPB are here for you to help you through this.

-Hollywood

[NMP]

I am sorry to hear of your loss, Zach. I wish you and your family strength and acceptance to get through it well. Study hard, as she had advised you . She sounds like a great person.

[adrenilanejunkie]

I am sorry about your loss your in my prayers and I hope you are able to move on I know it is rough my grandpa dies of cancer my aunt is battling cancer. My mom's side of the family is prone to cancer. My mom is also in bad shape with one kidney that is somewhat functioning and constant back problems and she just got into a car accident. So everyone needs to stop taking life for granted we live we love and we die so appreciate life and live it to its fullest for you never know what will happen. And may God bless you and your family during this time.

[Waffles]

Every practice, we have a prayer. A prayer for those of loved ones who have gone, a prayer for family members in trouble, sick, ill.. Next Sunday, practice, I and my team, will pray for you, your mom, and your family.

Never forget~ Rena Lailani Hoyle

[Evil Fingers]

Sorry for your Loss and I feel for you man, my 11yr old Godson also passed away back in June 08 and he was diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia, he died an hour before his operation, which wouldve cured him.

I miss the lil fella, I was going to go visit him some time this year and introduce him and his older brother to Paintball.

[Twilight]

I also lost my mother to cancer in December 2000. It's hard to believe that it has been 8 years already. I have grown so much and come so far in those past 8 years that she never got to witness, but I know she would be proud.

I still think about her regularly. I only wish I knew back then how much she means to me now.
Although she is gone, the memories never fade. (and I'm a pretty forgetful guy )

Seriously fella's, whatever grudges you may have or if your parents annoy you, brush it aside once in a while... it's just not worth harboring those bad emotions and remind your parents how much they really mean to you.

[zack]

I am very sorry, we all send luck to you and your relatives.

[Stix]

Reading this I literally almost cried. And I don't cry. I will say I love you to my mom when I see here later.

[ericsito19]

dude my blessing to you and your family. im here reading this almost in tears. keep your head up and know that she will see you graduate and get married. she'll be watching over.

[Zhoyle]

Thank you, thank you all for your support.