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And no, she isn't hot. We have words for people like that. They're called "Snorlaxes". has stuff like this ever happened to you? Now I'm kinda scared.
I'm pretty sure I'm being stalked... Uh oh!
#1
PNTBALLGURU 
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 09:27 AM
Okay, this girl used to like my friend on my lacrosse team. She creeped him out REALLY bad. For instance, the second day she was talking to him, she asked him what he'd do if he got her pregnant. The second day! And one day, she wouldn't quit texting him, and he wasn't answering, so he payed me $5 to talk to her instead. So I'm thinking, "Okay, how bad can it be?" so I start texting her. The first thing she asks me is, "Where does___ live?" and I was like, I don't know. And then she starts asking me stuff like, what time his bedtime is, what his parent's job is, and shit like that. Then I'm like I don't think you need to know that kinda stuff. Then she wheels around and says, I like you now. Let's hang out. You pay? And I was like, "Awww, crap!" and now, she texts me every day, asking me where I live, and when we should hang out. And I've told her twice that I like someone else and don't want to be with her, but she won't leave me alone!!
And no, she isn't hot. We have words for people like that. They're called "Snorlaxes". has stuff like this ever happened to you? Now I'm kinda scared.
And no, she isn't hot. We have words for people like that. They're called "Snorlaxes". has stuff like this ever happened to you? Now I'm kinda scared.
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#2
Gtracer
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 09:54 AM
>go to profile
>age 14
Yeah, you don't get stalked at this age unless it's by a pedophile.
>age 14
Yeah, you don't get stalked at this age unless it's by a pedophile.
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#3
PNTBALLGURU
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 10:01 AM
Dude, yes, I am 14. But this isn't a pedophile. She's a Junior at my friend's high school. She actually knows her. This isn't a shit story.
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Come join the Speedball Mafia!
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#4
Baux18
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 10:17 AM
loll shes a fatty..
just throw some cake at her then run away yelling "you're eating lies you stupid bitch!"
just throw some cake at her then run away yelling "you're eating lies you stupid bitch!"
This post has been edited by Baux18: 28 July 2011 - 10:17 AM
Eskimo, on 18 January 2012 - 12:19 AM, said:
Well aware, he is a master of sarcasm, and I love me my Baux.
#5
MikeeVinzee
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 10:18 AM
just ignore her
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#6
Eskimo
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 10:22 AM
yup. just be a gent and tell her straight up that you dont want to continue to have conversation with her.
And then never answer anything from her again.
And then never answer anything from her again.
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#8
Sasquatch
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 11:54 AM
Baux18, on 28 July 2011 - 10:17 AM, said:
just throw some cake at her then run away yelling "you're eating lies you stupid bitch!"
Nice reference!
OP, I'll tell you how to get rid of this girl.. It will take a small expense on your part, and a little planning, but it can be done.
Have her come over to your house, wear a bright pink shirt with the words "I only wear this shirt because my clown suit still has blood on it" sharpied on the chest. If she asks about it, just laugh, and tell her you thought it would be funny. Lead her to your room, to "hang out"
In your room, conveniently stash a clown suit covered in red food coloring and a large kitchen knife under your pillow. Make sure it is obviously visible from the door, and make sure you have a rainbow colored wig to go with it sitting on your dresser.
Hang up a map of your city, and put red push pins into it in random locations.
Also, keep your computer screen on, and leave it at a website showing various firearms. Shotguns, hunting rifles, pistols, machine guns, etc. If you want to push it, leave a Google search window open to "How do I get anti-depressants?"
That should work. Hopefully. If not, good luck.
Oh yeah, alternately, you could just call her a fat bitch, block her number, and give her a nice, strong, cunt punt if she comes near you.
Irish725, on 21 January 2012 - 10:51 PM, said:
I will laugh as they overwhelm our enemies in a flurry of spotted banana hammocks.
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#9
redthirst
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 12:38 PM
Tell her that it's weird for a Junior to be obsessed with a 14 year old and, if she doesn't cut this shit out, you'll report her creepy ass to the police.
Alternatively, set her on fire.
Alternatively, set her on fire.
Now that I got a good long Stiffi on my 'cocker I just need to find some dudes to shoot my balls on...
Lulzwut ain't no country I ever heard of! They type English in Lulzwut?
lulzwut?
ENGLISH, MOTHER FUCKER! CAN YOU TYPE IT?
Lulzwut ain't no country I ever heard of! They type English in Lulzwut?
lulzwut?
ENGLISH, MOTHER FUCKER! CAN YOU TYPE IT?
#10
lostpaintballer
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 01:46 PM
Next time you see her yell " A wild snorlax has appeared" then yell stranger danger and run off.
Or pay somebody you dont like 5 bucks to text her. Give them a pic of a hot girl and say its that chick!
Or pay somebody you dont like 5 bucks to text her. Give them a pic of a hot girl and say its that chick!
When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave everybody wondering how the fuck you did it.
#11
thepaintballkid
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 02:09 PM
Baseball bat + chloriform...
#12
Zombie Afroshot
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 02:22 PM
This is exactly why I custom-made this shirt here:
It also glows in the dark.
It also glows in the dark.
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#13
junits15
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 02:35 PM
what if she is like schizophrenic? Then you would be TOTALLY fucked, but since that's probably not the case just let her go, but just to be safe only tell her things that can be considered public knowledge. I think she is legit into you though that is most likely what is really going on
Borg you will NEVER be forgotten.
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#15
redthirst
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 03:36 PM
Rawrr, on 28 July 2011 - 03:07 PM, said:
Fuck the bitch and she'll release that you don't put out...
and now you're free of a fat chick
and now you're free of a fat chick
Fuck her and she'll realise that you don't put out?
Isn't fucking her the very definition of putting out?
Now that I got a good long Stiffi on my 'cocker I just need to find some dudes to shoot my balls on...
Lulzwut ain't no country I ever heard of! They type English in Lulzwut?
lulzwut?
ENGLISH, MOTHER FUCKER! CAN YOU TYPE IT?
Lulzwut ain't no country I ever heard of! They type English in Lulzwut?
lulzwut?
ENGLISH, MOTHER FUCKER! CAN YOU TYPE IT?
#17
Rotozip2
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 06:49 PM
Sasquatch, on 28 July 2011 - 11:54 AM, said:
Baux18, on 28 July 2011 - 10:17 AM, said:
just throw some cake at her then run away yelling "you're eating lies you stupid bitch!"
Nice reference!
OP, I'll tell you how to get rid of this girl.. It will take a small expense on your part, and a little planning, but it can be done.
Have her come over to your house, wear a bright pink shirt with the words "I only wear this shirt because my clown suit still has blood on it" sharpied on the chest. If she asks about it, just laugh, and tell her you thought it would be funny. Lead her to your room, to "hang out"
In your room, conveniently stash a clown suit covered in red food coloring and a large kitchen knife under your pillow. Make sure it is obviously visible from the door, and make sure you have a rainbow colored wig to go with it sitting on your dresser.
Hang up a map of your city, and put red push pins into it in random locations.
Also, keep your computer screen on, and leave it at a website showing various firearms. Shotguns, hunting rifles, pistols, machine guns, etc. If you want to push it, leave a Google search window open to "How do I get anti-depressants?"
That should work. Hopefully. If not, good luck.
Oh yeah, alternately, you could just call her a fat bitch, block her number, and give her a nice, strong, cunt punt if she comes near you.
Holy shit that fucked up lol...
You seem to have experience with this. I loled though.
Cookybiscuit, on 06 December 2011 - 06:01 PM, said:
I never get wipers, blood is hard to wipe off.
Do it with style ~ Total Grief
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#18
Baux18
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 06:52 PM
beast, on 28 July 2011 - 04:11 PM, said:
Smash and dash bro.
did you not here him..
its a code fatty.
you dont smash and bash a fatty. becuase you dont smash at all.
Eskimo, on 18 January 2012 - 12:19 AM, said:
Well aware, he is a master of sarcasm, and I love me my Baux.
#19
PBpancake
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 07:12 PM
Baux18, on 28 July 2011 - 06:52 PM, said:
beast, on 28 July 2011 - 04:11 PM, said:
Smash and dash bro.
did you not here him..
its a code fatty.
you dont smash and bash a fatty. becuase you dont smash at all.
I could just imagine the whale saying, "You don't smash Snorlax, SNORLAX SMASH YOU."
Man the harpoons!
#20
Vaellis
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Posted 28 July 2011 - 07:40 PM
PBpancake, on 28 July 2011 - 07:12 PM, said:
Baux18, on 28 July 2011 - 06:52 PM, said:
beast, on 28 July 2011 - 04:11 PM, said:
Smash and dash bro.
did you not here him..
its a code fatty.
you dont smash and bash a fatty. becuase you dont smash at all.
I could just imagine the whale saying, "You don't smash Snorlax, SNORLAX SMASH YOU."
Man the harpoons!
Epic. Fucking. Win.
