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Techpb Mike is held in very high esteem around here (for obvious reasons), and I thought it would be funny to start a thread where people could post reasons why. In order to grow the legend of the Paintball Giant, Techpb Mike, please come up with your best reasons why Techpb Mike is the best... but do it in a "Chuck Norris" style.
I've come up with the following just to get people started, and give them an idea of what I'm talking about:
-Paintballs break all the time on Techpb Mike, even .50cal. That's because he's so ripped, there's no flab on him anywhere for anything to bounce on.
-Techpb Mike once played paintball without a mask on. The one time a paintball flew at his face, he sneezed, and the paintball flew back towards the shooter and eliminated him. He now plays with a mask, not for HIS protection, but for ours.
-Techpb Mike once tried playing a game with nothing but an overbored barrel as a blowgun. He switched back to his SP1 when the refs found out that he couldn't get his blowgun to chrono at less than 1500fps.
All right, now let's hear YOUR best "Techpb Mike-isms".
TechpbMike > Chuck Norris Mike is the Chuck Norris of Paintball
#1
oldnewb 
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:02 PM
Techpb Mike doesn't use Trojan Magnum extra large condoms 'cause he doesn't believe in underboring.
Techpb Mike doesn't hide behind cover. Instead, he shoots down incoming paintballs.
Techpb Mike doesn't hide behind cover. Instead, he shoots down incoming paintballs.
#2
ConradNorCal
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:04 PM
Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups he pushes the earth down.
#3
oldnewb
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:05 PM
oldnewb, on 19 August 2010 - 08:02 PM, said:
Techpb Mike is held in very high esteem around here (for obvious reasons), and I thought it would be funny to start a thread where people could post reasons why. In order to grow the legend of the Paintball Giant, Techpb Mike, please come up with your best reasons why Techpb Mike is the best... but do it in a "Chuck Norris" style.
I've come up with the following just to get people started, and give them an idea of what I'm talking about:
-Paintballs break all the time on Techpb Mike, even .50cal. That's because he's so ripped, there's no flab on him anywhere for anything to bounce on.
-Techpb Mike once played paintball without a mask on. The one time a paintball flew at his face, he sneezed, and the paintball flew back towards the shooter and eliminated him. He now plays with a mask, not for HIS protection, but for ours.
-Techpb Mike once tried playing a game with nothing but an overbored barrel as a blowgun. He switched back to his SP1 when the refs found out that he couldn't get his blowgun to chrono at less than 1500fps.
All right, now let's hear YOUR best "Techpb Mike-isms".
I've come up with the following just to get people started, and give them an idea of what I'm talking about:
-Paintballs break all the time on Techpb Mike, even .50cal. That's because he's so ripped, there's no flab on him anywhere for anything to bounce on.
-Techpb Mike once played paintball without a mask on. The one time a paintball flew at his face, he sneezed, and the paintball flew back towards the shooter and eliminated him. He now plays with a mask, not for HIS protection, but for ours.
-Techpb Mike once tried playing a game with nothing but an overbored barrel as a blowgun. He switched back to his SP1 when the refs found out that he couldn't get his blowgun to chrono at less than 1500fps.
All right, now let's hear YOUR best "Techpb Mike-isms".
Oh, and don't bother saying, "First". Even if you post that before Mike, his First will always beat yours out.
Techpb Mike doesn't use Trojan Magnum extra large condoms 'cause he doesn't believe in underboring.
Techpb Mike doesn't hide behind cover. Instead, he shoots down incoming paintballs.
Techpb Mike doesn't hide behind cover. Instead, he shoots down incoming paintballs.
#4
jdlarson11
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:05 PM
Sharks have Techpb-Mike Week
#6
oldnewb
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:08 PM
Techpb Mike's tried reviewing the latest Impulse. When it broke a paintball on him, he cursed it, and Smart Parts went out of business the next day.
Techpb Mike doesn't use Trojan Magnum extra large condoms 'cause he doesn't believe in underboring.
Techpb Mike doesn't hide behind cover. Instead, he shoots down incoming paintballs.
Techpb Mike doesn't hide behind cover. Instead, he shoots down incoming paintballs.
#7
ConradNorCal
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:09 PM
oldnewb, on 19 August 2010 - 08:05 PM, said:
oldnewb, on 19 August 2010 - 08:02 PM, said:
Techpb Mike is held in very high esteem around here (for obvious reasons), and I thought it would be funny to start a thread where people could post reasons why. In order to grow the legend of the Paintball Giant, Techpb Mike, please come up with your best reasons why Techpb Mike is the best... but do it in a "Chuck Norris" style.
I've come up with the following just to get people started, and give them an idea of what I'm talking about:
-Paintballs break all the time on Techpb Mike, even .50cal. That's because he's so ripped, there's no flab on him anywhere for anything to bounce on.
-Techpb Mike once played paintball without a mask on. The one time a paintball flew at his face, he sneezed, and the paintball flew back towards the shooter and eliminated him. He now plays with a mask, not for HIS protection, but for ours.
-Techpb Mike once tried playing a game with nothing but an overbored barrel as a blowgun. He switched back to his SP1 when the refs found out that he couldn't get his blowgun to chrono at less than 1500fps.
All right, now let's hear YOUR best "Techpb Mike-isms".
I've come up with the following just to get people started, and give them an idea of what I'm talking about:
-Paintballs break all the time on Techpb Mike, even .50cal. That's because he's so ripped, there's no flab on him anywhere for anything to bounce on.
-Techpb Mike once played paintball without a mask on. The one time a paintball flew at his face, he sneezed, and the paintball flew back towards the shooter and eliminated him. He now plays with a mask, not for HIS protection, but for ours.
-Techpb Mike once tried playing a game with nothing but an overbored barrel as a blowgun. He switched back to his SP1 when the refs found out that he couldn't get his blowgun to chrono at less than 1500fps.
All right, now let's hear YOUR best "Techpb Mike-isms".
Oh, and don't bother saying, "First". Even if you post that before Mike, his First will always beat yours out.
Fail, I posted before you could post your post to stop people from posting first. Luckily for you, I'm too elite to post "First" in my posts that happen to be the first after the OP.
This post has been edited by ConradNorCal: 19 August 2010 - 08:12 PM
#10
BEASTY
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:13 PM
Holy fanboy thread!
thed3monvisionz, on 29 September 2011 - 04:09 AM, said:
What you NEED to do is mark your territory, Pee on/in the WHOLE school. I mean EVERYWHERE just SOAK IT.
↔↔ Beasty Barrel Socks ↔↔ 46/0/0↔↔
#11
oldnewb
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:15 PM
BEASTY, on 19 August 2010 - 08:13 PM, said:
Holy fanboy thread!
Really? Or are we making fun of Techpb Mike fanboys? Hmmmm??? Which is it?
Relax. It's all in good fun.
Techpb Mike doesn't use Trojan Magnum extra large condoms 'cause he doesn't believe in underboring.
Techpb Mike doesn't hide behind cover. Instead, he shoots down incoming paintballs.
Techpb Mike doesn't hide behind cover. Instead, he shoots down incoming paintballs.
#12
chappinpaint
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:17 PM
techpb mike can shoot a paintball 300fps through a straw
chappinpaint, on 24 December 2011 - 03:57 PM, said:
i sigged myself once
#13
SuperSpartan617
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:19 PM
TechPB Mike is the ONE.
Silver/Black Marq 6 F/S/T
http://www.techpb.co...howtopic=216237
http://www.techpb.co...howtopic=216237
#14
oldnewb
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:19 PM
Techpb Mike doesn't use Trojan Magnum extra large condoms 'cause he doesn't believe in underboring.
Techpb Mike doesn't use Trojan Magnum extra large condoms 'cause he doesn't believe in underboring.
Techpb Mike doesn't hide behind cover. Instead, he shoots down incoming paintballs.
Techpb Mike doesn't hide behind cover. Instead, he shoots down incoming paintballs.
#15
BEASTY
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:23 PM
oldnewb, on 19 August 2010 - 08:15 PM, said:
BEASTY, on 19 August 2010 - 08:13 PM, said:
Holy fanboy thread!
Really? Or are we making fun of Techpb Mike fanboys? Hmmmm??? Which is it?
Relax. It's all in good fun.
I'd prove your theory invalid...but I'm to tired...
oldnewb, on 19 August 2010 - 08:19 PM, said:
Techpb Mike doesn't use Trojan Magnum extra large condoms 'cause he doesn't believe in underboring.
Sigged
thed3monvisionz, on 29 September 2011 - 04:09 AM, said:
What you NEED to do is mark your territory, Pee on/in the WHOLE school. I mean EVERYWHERE just SOAK IT.
↔↔ Beasty Barrel Socks ↔↔ 46/0/0↔↔
#16
paintballjohn
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 08:38 PM
jdlarson11, on 19 August 2010 - 08:05 PM, said:
Sharks have Techpb-Mike Week
You totally stole that from the "stay thirsty my friends" commercial!!
Sure you can fight, but it is our wits that make us men.
#17
SpikeWesker
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 09:10 PM
when playing front, Superman does Mike slides to the zipper...
in late 1991, Mike beated Russian Legion 5 on 1, ending the cold war single handedly...
Mike can blow into a tank and fill it up to 2700 psi... a scuba tank that is...
Monsterballs are afraid of Mike
in late 1991, Mike beated Russian Legion 5 on 1, ending the cold war single handedly...
Mike can blow into a tank and fill it up to 2700 psi... a scuba tank that is...
Monsterballs are afraid of Mike
This post has been edited by SpikeWesker: 19 August 2010 - 09:22 PM
#18
wingmasterjr
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 09:10 PM
Techpb Mike beat up chuck norris
how did he do it he saved a rocks life and threw a ion
how did he do it he saved a rocks life and threw a ion
Techpbs #1 furry was here....
#19
oldnewb
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 09:11 PM
When playing in the woods, Techpb Mike wears padding... NOT to protect his elbows and knees from rocks and trees, but to protect the rocks and trees from Mike.
Techpb Mike doesn't use Trojan Magnum extra large condoms 'cause he doesn't believe in underboring.
Techpb Mike doesn't hide behind cover. Instead, he shoots down incoming paintballs.
Techpb Mike doesn't hide behind cover. Instead, he shoots down incoming paintballs.
#20
pirhana92
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Posted 19 August 2010 - 09:14 PM
Do you know how Optimus Prime was born? Mike jizzed (a better word then I was thinking of) inside a Peter Builts engine and Optimus Prime was born.... (Don't ban me for that lol)
This post has been edited by pirhana92: 19 August 2010 - 09:15 PM
