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What are some funny things you hear at the feild?


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#1 NDomipolo

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 04:03 PM

Just post some funny things you've heard while playing?

All COD references(made from ppl with full milsim guns)

I was playing last week (i have an ego 08) and a guy comes up to me and was like omg is that a spyder?*facepalm*

#2 Aulldeath

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 04:05 PM

Whats that on your face? ooh ya, its my BALLS Posted Image

That was my brother, talking to me Posted Image

Edited by Aulldeath, 14 March 2011 - 04:06 PM.

Posted Image
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#3 The Kia-Ya

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 04:20 PM

"Get your barrel away from my crotch"

"BARREL TAG YOU'RE OUT!!!" "FUCK YOU!!!" *bappppppppppppp!!!*
"GROUP HUG IN THE SHOWERS TONIGHT!"

#4 Omnipotent4ever

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 05:34 PM

"Hey, Is your bag of mystery juice still there?"
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#5 mfauz

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 06:07 PM

some guy was spilling paint everywhere and some rentals came up and said dude your balls are falling out


Azodin is Legit. FUCK SPYDERS IN THE BUTT HOLE
ohhhh yeah and FIRST POST BITCHES!!!!! OFF TO WALLMART


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#6 FALLOUTzz

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 06:25 PM

I've heard some guy say "dude this is paintball not cod"
Just because you own a high end marker and gear dosen't mean your good...

#7 KevinXH15

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 06:39 PM

I was playing rec ball and for some reason that day there were more new younger players than ever

-Blue jeans
-Tippman 98
-Hoody

You know that kid.. anyway so im getting setup and throw on my jersey and they go "Dude look how good that kids is!"

*Facepalm*
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#8 RADO

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 07:03 PM

while im packing up i have half a phrophecy of paint left so i gave it to a friend and as he is emptying it into his pod the field owner walks by and says "He's really good at blowing isn't he?"

#9 The_Economist

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 07:15 PM

"I liked that map. What other maps are there?"


#10 BMoore.

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 07:18 PM

"oh! So like team deathmatch?"
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#11 KevinXH15

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 07:26 PM

"oh! So like team deathmatch?"


Hahaha classic
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#12 5ozofpain

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 07:29 PM

"Hey, is your gun full auto??"

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#13 Panda Man

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 07:31 PM

"fuck my shoe came untied!"

"Why dont pros use machine gun style guns"

"I Can't see anything! my Mask is fogged!"

"Do you have any bullets left!"(in the UK and Australia this is ok, but they have American voices)

"Anyone got a Grenade?!"

Edit: "Someone cover me!"

"wait! i have to add another clip"

"I bet if I had your gun I'd be pro"

Edited by Panda Man, 14 March 2011 - 07:33 PM.


#14 Aulldeath

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 07:34 PM

Ref walkes up to friend "Is that a grenade?"
Friend: "no"
Friend chucks grenade.
Ref: "Ok, just making sure"
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#15 Yodi21

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 07:35 PM

[In reference this gun, i have gotten the following remarks:
Posted Image
By yodi21 at 2011-01-27
"How many pumps does it take to get off a shot at feild velocity?"
"Where's the hopper and air tank!?"
"What the hell is that, a China Lake?!"
Nearly legally blind, a triplet, and i love paintball

I wish I was a news reporter... My headline totally would have been "Man ruptures woman's breast with balls"


he sounds like a total cock waffle.


#16 KevinXH15

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 07:39 PM

[In reference this gun, i have gotten the following remarks:
Posted Image
By yodi21 at 2011-01-27
"How many pumps does it take to get off a shot at feild velocity?"
"Where's the hopper and air tank!?"
"What the hell is that, a China Lake?!"


Hahah China Lake!
Posted Image

#17 Robot85

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 08:00 PM

"2bps limit on electros"
"That tippmann can shoot 15bps"
"Yea but it doesn't have a double trigger"


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#18 Vaellis

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 08:43 PM

Hah did you hear this is paintball not cod at ground assault pb sunday? Because I was explaining some stuff to my friend. And being judged by the gun always sucks..hmm
"If I had you gun I'd be so much better"
"Can you dive like in cod"
"I have an ego *sees planet eclipse sticker and spyder logo"
"I have a 1200 dye gun *Sees poppit, dye sticker and spyder logo"
Edit "Your not gonna shoot full auto right?"
"Hey your gun looks like a pistol (Etek 3 lt)"

Edited by Vaellis, 14 March 2011 - 08:44 PM.

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#19 Baux18

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 09:38 PM

Hah did you hear this is paintball not cod at ground assault pb sunday? Because I was explaining some stuff
to my friend. And being judged by the gun always sucks..hmm
"If I had you gun I'd be so much
better"
"Can you dive like in cod"
"I have an ego *sees planet eclipse
sticker and spyder logo"
"I have a 1200 dye gun *Sees poppit, dye sticker and spyder logo"
Edit "Your not gonna shoot full auto right?"
"Hey your gun looks like a pistol (Etek 3 lt)"

*facepalm*

How does and etek look anything like a postol?
Posted Image

Well aware, he is a master of sarcasm, and I love me my Baux.


#20 PeanutWing

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 09:52 PM

" You play stock class? Are you fucking retarded?"
"I don't see the advantage of pump"
"Lol my Ego is going to blow that out of the water"
"WHAT THE FUCK! Your gogged me with a $100 gun? BULLSHIT!"
".... Is that a shotgun?"
"Hehe. You have tiny little pods" (Yeah well you have a tiny little dick....)
"What are those little metal things?" (Cartridges)
"Let me chrono that!"(Right after he sees me reload a Cart. So he knows it is going to be a little hot)
"If you are the last one again, I will eat my hopper"
"My pants/jersey make me faster"
"I love PbNation"
(FROM A TOURNIE PLAYER!!!!!) "Get up there pumper! Use that accuracy!"

#21 Jalen

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 10:46 PM

(while I'm hiding in a small-ass bunker being shot at, and this douche runs up to me)
him: "Can I have a pod of paint?"
me: "No"
"Oh come on"
"No"
"Come on dude, if you give me a pod I might let you use my gun for a game"
(I have an Etek 3, he had a rental gun which he put a dye sticker over the word "rental" burnt into the grip)
"That's alright, man"
"Well fuck you too then, punk-ass super awesome ninja's of doom"

By the way, this is the kid with the girl jeans, unmatching shoes, those stupid earring things, hair covering one eye (even while wearing a mask) which has been dyed blonde, green, and purple... that kid

----------------------

rental kids walk up to me wiping off my stuff
"Hey man, you pro?"
"No"
*they walk away, and I hear one of them say*
"See, I told you they're not allowed to talk about it"

----------------------

"I looked it up online and so I brought a needle... because if you poke one or two holes in each ball then they're guaranteed to break"

----------------------

"how fast can you walk the trigger?"
"well," *bap bap bap bap, maybe 10bps*
(I start to grin)
"AW FUCK I DIDN'T TAKE THE BARREL BAG OFF"

----------------------

me "IF YOU'RE HIT ON YOUR GUN YOU'RE OUT"
rental punk "NO IN BLACK OPS IT DOESN'T COUNT SO WHY WOULD IT HERE?"

----------------------

"I could make a bong out of this"

----------------------

"I didn't know it was going to hurt"

(talking to the kid later, he thought that paintball was this, but you poured in paint instead of water)


----------------------
I only play paintball so I can tell dirty jokes.

#22 BillNyePBGuy

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Posted 14 March 2011 - 11:36 PM

----------------------

"I didn't know it was going to hurt"

(talking to the kid later, he thought that paintball was this, but you poured in paint instead of water)


----------------------


Never heard that before...lol
("huge HUGE BALLS OF WATER! balls of water SPLATTER!")

were walking to a field and i see a kid with a 98 and what could easily be a 2 foot barrel. Shakenbake hopper and co2.
"So hows the accuracy with that barrel?"
"Its awesome i can shoot all the way across the field"

i started to educate him, but didnt want to burst his bubble of excitedness.


another time, i heard this group of 13-14 year olds making COD references. So on the field, as i move in to a bunker next to the one all four of them are in, i yell "PLANTING CLAYMORE!" and as i run off, i hear one of the kids go "holy shit he just planted a claymore! they have those?"

made for an interesting explanation at the staging area lol.

Edited by BillNyePBGuy, 14 March 2011 - 11:38 PM.

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#23 Panda Man

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 01:30 AM

you know this is starting to sound like Bashing new comers...

Here is one I heard from a Ref at the field, and a Damn good player...

"Damn that superman Hurt like <Anothers players mom> was on top of me again last night.. "

#24 Jalen

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 03:21 AM

another time, i heard this group of 13-14 year olds making COD references. So on the field, as i move in to a bunker next to the one all four of them are in, i yell "PLANTING CLAYMORE!" and as i run off, i hear one of the kids go "holy shit he just planted a claymore! they have those?"


Sir, I want to shake your hand.
I only play paintball so I can tell dirty jokes.

#25 kaoskrewpb

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 10:17 AM

Almost all of these are complete bs, that you guys made up just to make fun of cod players, lol.
I put my pinky out cuz I'm classy as fuck.

its long and the most flexible I have ever seen.


#26 Loh@Pointman

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 11:25 AM

*before the game*

Woodsballer - meh, electro's suck, they can't make it in the field like (takes out 20 lbs modified A-5) THIS!!

*during the game*

Woodsballer - oh god! we're getting over run! where are the speedballers??!! we need electro's

*after the game*

Woodsballer - meh, electro's suck, they can't make it in the field like (takes out 20 lbs modified A-5) THIS!!

/facepalm
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#27 FreeEnterprise

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 11:45 AM

I was out and sitting in the dead zone watching as our last guy was guarding the base... Since dead men can't talk, I was nervous as he kept walking closer and closer to our land mine... He is on of our best players who is part indian, and deadly accurate shooter, (and my father in law).

Pretty soon.

WHOOOOSH!

He just stood there as the bright yellow paint completely covered him.

He turned and said. "Am I still in"?...

As the paint ran off his helmet, shirt, pants, and gun...


We all died laughing. And then had to wait for the other team to come and capture the flag at our now undefended base.

I wish I had video of that.

Here is video of our mines if you haven't seen them before.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/Tippmann

Edited by FreeEnterprise, 15 March 2011 - 11:46 AM.


#28 PB PUNISHER

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 02:08 PM

can i have some bullets?

is that a shotgun? (my friends pump)

You know, when someone gets a heart attack on the field and someone yells, "Does he have a Pulse?!"
And you reply, "Nope Halo"

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#29 sagestylerpb

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 02:18 PM

"Vitals Only" Theres nothing I hate more than vitals only.
8/0/0

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#30 Brunsy

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 02:18 PM

"Camper!"
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#31 sam F

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 02:35 PM

"Vitals Only" Theres nothing I hate more than vitals only.

HOLY $#!T I hate vitals so much, and the biggest field in my area goes by those rules!
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#32 Robot85

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 03:10 PM

"Vitals Only" Theres nothing I hate more than vitals only.


Agreed. Personally, I find my arms and legs quite vital...

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#33 LikeACheeseStick

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 04:03 PM

"Can I borrow a case a paint?"

Yeah.. borrow. Right.

"Camper!"



+1

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#34 mustangs

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 04:19 PM

"I think I need another ammo clip cuz I'm running out of bullets"
"How come these bullets aren't going straight?"





#35 KevinXH15

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 04:27 PM

Kids asking for paint is the wooorst
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#36 PieCars

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 04:37 PM

another time, i heard this group of 13-14 year olds making COD references. So on the field, as i move in to a bunker next to the one all four of them are in, i yell "PLANTING CLAYMORE!" and as i run off, i hear one of the kids go "holy shit he just planted a claymore! they have those?"

made for an interesting explanation at the staging area lol.


This made my day. Permission to use that line?

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#37 bobmanboy

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 04:39 PM

If they want paint form me.. theyll get it.. from my barrel at 300 FPS..

#38 BAMFZILLA

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 04:45 PM

"I got a new 20 inch barrel, I can shoot like 100 yds easy now."

#39 Vaellis

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 05:44 PM


Hah did you hear this is paintball not cod at ground assault pb sunday? Because I was explaining some stuff
to my friend. And being judged by the gun always sucks..hmm
"If I had you gun I'd be so much
better"
"Can you dive like in cod"
"I have an ego *sees planet eclipse
sticker and spyder logo"
"I have a 1200 dye gun *Sees poppit, dye sticker and spyder logo"
Edit "Your not gonna shoot full auto right?"
"Hey your gun looks like a pistol (Etek 3 lt)"

*facepalm*

How does and etek look anything like a postol?


My friend saw it without a barrel after we played some pistols (My field has a pistols only map you can bring your own or rent one for $5 pretty cool actually.) I played along I was too tired lol.
I love when people can't pronounce my user name. ninja 50/45
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#40 turkey357

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 06:37 PM

Almost all of these are complete bs, that you guys made up just to make fun of cod players, lol.



yo would be suprised, i hear COD refrences ALL THE TIME and its annoying
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#41 Jimboslice14

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 06:50 PM

My teamate was playing direto and he grabed a pod out of his belt and he was trying to open and the thumb tab broke off and he screamed "Fuck Me!!!!" and through his pod across the feild i was laughing my head off behind the can lol :P
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#42 NDomipolo

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 09:05 PM

another time, i heard this group of 13-14 year olds making COD references. So on the field, as i move in to a bunker next to the one all four of them are in, i yell "PLANTING CLAYMORE!" and as i run off, i hear one of the kids go "holy shit he just planted a claymore! they have those?"


This is fucking halarious,i was reading this at work and was laughing so hard,this is mad funny

#43 pizimp

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 09:12 PM

last time I was at obnoxious paintball i was playing back, and keeping a super tight lane on s1 and some kid runs up to me, and at the top of his lungs screams "YOU FUCKING CAMPING FUCK, YOUR THE PROBLEM WITH BLACK OPS!!!!!!!1111ELEVEN."
Posted Image

Its like a dirty crack head rubbing crack dust over his body and humping a gigantic crack rock....

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#44 turkey357

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Posted 15 March 2011 - 09:12 PM

My teamate was playing direto and he grabed a pod out of his belt and he was trying to open and the thumb tab broke off and he screamed "Fuck Me!!!!" and through his pod across the feild i was laughing my head off behind the can lol Posted Image



hhahaahhahahahahah
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#45 Jalen

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Posted 16 March 2011 - 02:49 AM

I didn't necessarily hear this at the field, but this one guy said that his field has a "pistols only map"
I only play paintball so I can tell dirty jokes.

#46 Vaellis

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Posted 16 March 2011 - 06:11 AM

last time I was at obnoxious paintball i was playing back, and keeping a super tight lane on s1 and some kid runs up to me, and at the top of his lungs screams "YOU FUCKING CAMPING FUCK, YOUR THE PROBLEM WITH BLACK OPS!!!!!!!1111ELEVEN."



Ahahahahahahha underapprecciated screamed at backplayers by black ops playing rentals high five!
I love when people can't pronounce my user name. ninja 50/45
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#47 Cookybiscuit

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Posted 16 March 2011 - 06:58 AM

We're not alowed to play with renters at our field :unsure: Mainly because pretty much everyone has an Ego or other high-end and they all use un-capped ramp lol, and they bonus ball either untill they run out of paint or untill the person who is out runs out of range

From the safe-zone=

*Walks past renter with my Etek 3* "WOW! That must be full auto!"
Posted Image
"Everyone shoot the fat kid!" 3 people turn around and shoot this guy in the legs, he wasnt pleased ;)

And ofcorse there's the COD references "Popping smoke!" when throwing smoke greandes, "Is this one like free-for-all on COD?" when asking ref about the game, "Is that the UMP45 off COD?" when asking about my gun.

*My marker with Apex barrel left on the table" Ref-"Is yours the one with the silencer?" Me-"It's not a silencer, it puts spin on the ball so it shoots further" Ref-"Oh ok"

Later on in the day... Same Ref-"You should take that silencer off your gun, it dosent do anything" Me-*Facepalm*

Edited by Cookybiscuit, 16 March 2011 - 07:41 AM.

Awarded: " the biggest dumbass on this forum" 2012


#48 paintballman69

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Posted 16 March 2011 - 07:32 AM

*misses hopper*
"my blue balls droped!"

Edited by paintballman69, 16 March 2011 - 12:12 PM.

Your a towel!!!Posted Image

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#49 Loh@Pointman

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Posted 17 March 2011 - 08:21 PM

Kids asking for paint is the wooorst



You think that's bad?

last year i had a woodsball team and during one of the games, one of our team mates who was using an Azodin Kaos would go to each and everyone of us begging to shoot our guns at the range, he said he'd give us what was left of the paint in his bag in return (was like 30 rounds maybe)

Anyways, I had my new etek3, buddy had a new tm15, another had a new x7, and one more had a new(ish) SP1. And none of us wanted to lend anything to him (he had bad history of damaging borrowed items). So each and everyone of us said no. But then, SP1 guy gave in and lent it to him. The gun came back fine, but the paint in the bag couldn't cover what was shot.

gawd i hate that guy...

Posted Image
[size="4"]When in doubt, empty thy hopper.

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SP1 for dummies, by dummies

#50 mokothemonkey

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Posted 17 March 2011 - 10:49 PM

To freak out the noobs on the other team, I sometimes yell 'GRENADE!!!!!1ELEVEN!!1' as I overhand-throw a pod to the deadbox. I don't know why i take the time to actually baseball throw my pods instead of just dropping or putting back in my pack but it's fun ;)

Hi.





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