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I'm pretty sure I'm being stalked...


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#1 PNTBALLGURU

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 09:27 AM

Okay, this girl used to like my friend on my lacrosse team. She creeped him out REALLY bad. For instance, the second day she was talking to him, she asked him what he'd do if he got her pregnant. The second day! And one day, she wouldn't quit texting him, and he wasn't answering, so he payed me $5 to talk to her instead. So I'm thinking, "Okay, how bad can it be?" so I start texting her. The first thing she asks me is, "Where does___ live?" and I was like, I don't know. And then she starts asking me stuff like, what time his bedtime is, what his parent's job is, and shit like that. Then I'm like I don't think you need to know that kinda stuff. Then she wheels around and says, I like you now. Let's hang out. You pay? And I was like, "Awww, crap!" and now, she texts me every day, asking me where I live, and when we should hang out. And I've told her twice that I like someone else and don't want to be with her, but she won't leave me alone!!


And no, she isn't hot. We have words for people like that. They're called "Snorlaxes". has stuff like this ever happened to you? Now I'm kinda scared. :unsure:
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#2 Gtracer

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 09:54 AM

>go to profile
>age 14

Yeah, you don't get stalked at this age unless it's by a pedophile.
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#3 PNTBALLGURU

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 10:01 AM

Dude, yes, I am 14. But this isn't a pedophile. She's a Junior at my friend's high school. She actually knows her. This isn't a shit story.
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#4 Baux18

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 10:17 AM

loll shes a fatty..


just throw some cake at her then run away yelling "you're eating lies you stupid bitch!"

Edited by Baux18, 28 July 2011 - 10:17 AM.

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#5 MikeeVinzee

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 10:18 AM

just ignore her
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#6 Eskimo

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 10:22 AM

yup. just be a gent and tell her straight up that you dont want to continue to have conversation with her.

And then never answer anything from her again.

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#7 TECHDP=)

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 10:47 AM

Two words
FUCK OFF!
:P

#8 Sasquatch

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 11:54 AM

just throw some cake at her then run away yelling "you're eating lies you stupid bitch!"


Nice reference! :lol:



OP, I'll tell you how to get rid of this girl.. It will take a small expense on your part, and a little planning, but it can be done.




Have her come over to your house, wear a bright pink shirt with the words "I only wear this shirt because my clown suit still has blood on it" sharpied on the chest. If she asks about it, just laugh, and tell her you thought it would be funny. Lead her to your room, to "hang out"

In your room, conveniently stash a clown suit covered in red food coloring and a large kitchen knife under your pillow. Make sure it is obviously visible from the door, and make sure you have a rainbow colored wig to go with it sitting on your dresser.

Hang up a map of your city, and put red push pins into it in random locations.

Also, keep your computer screen on, and leave it at a website showing various firearms. Shotguns, hunting rifles, pistols, machine guns, etc. If you want to push it, leave a Google search window open to "How do I get anti-depressants?"



That should work. Hopefully. If not, good luck.



Oh yeah, alternately, you could just call her a fat bitch, block her number, and give her a nice, strong, cunt punt if she comes near you. :rolleyes:

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#9 redthirst

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 12:38 PM

Tell her that it's weird for a Junior to be obsessed with a 14 year old and, if she doesn't cut this shit out, you'll report her creepy ass to the police.

Alternatively, set her on fire.
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#10 lostpaintballer

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 01:46 PM

Next time you see her yell " A wild snorlax has appeared" then yell stranger danger and run off.

Or pay somebody you dont like 5 bucks to text her. Give them a pic of a hot girl and say its that chick!
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#11 thepaintballkid

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 02:09 PM

Baseball bat + chloriform...

#12 Zombie Afroshot

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 02:22 PM

This is exactly why I custom-made this shirt here:


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#13 junits15

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 02:35 PM

what if she is like schizophrenic? Then you would be TOTALLY fucked, but since that's probably not the case just let her go, but just to be safe only tell her things that can be considered public knowledge. I think she is legit into you though that is most likely what is really going on
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#14 Rawrr

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 03:07 PM

Fuck the bitch and she'll release that you don't put out...

and now you're free of a fat chick
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#15 redthirst

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 03:36 PM

Fuck the bitch and she'll release that you don't put out...

and now you're free of a fat chick



Fuck her and she'll realise that you don't put out?

Isn't fucking her the very definition of putting out?
Now that I got a good long Stiffi on my 'cocker I just need to find some dudes to shoot my balls on...

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lulzwut?
ENGLISH, MOTHER FUCKER! CAN YOU TYPE IT?

#16 beast

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 04:11 PM

Smash and dash bro.

#17 Rotozip2

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 06:49 PM


just throw some cake at her then run away yelling "you're eating lies you stupid bitch!"


Nice reference! :lol:



OP, I'll tell you how to get rid of this girl.. It will take a small expense on your part, and a little planning, but it can be done.




Have her come over to your house, wear a bright pink shirt with the words "I only wear this shirt because my clown suit still has blood on it" sharpied on the chest. If she asks about it, just laugh, and tell her you thought it would be funny. Lead her to your room, to "hang out"

In your room, conveniently stash a clown suit covered in red food coloring and a large kitchen knife under your pillow. Make sure it is obviously visible from the door, and make sure you have a rainbow colored wig to go with it sitting on your dresser.

Hang up a map of your city, and put red push pins into it in random locations.

Also, keep your computer screen on, and leave it at a website showing various firearms. Shotguns, hunting rifles, pistols, machine guns, etc. If you want to push it, leave a Google search window open to "How do I get anti-depressants?"



That should work. Hopefully. If not, good luck.



Oh yeah, alternately, you could just call her a fat bitch, block her number, and give her a nice, strong, cunt punt if she comes near you. :rolleyes:


Holy shit that fucked up lol...Posted Image You seem to have experience with this. I loled though.

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#18 Baux18

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 06:52 PM

Smash and dash bro.


did you not here him..


its a code fatty.


you dont smash and bash a fatty. becuase you dont smash at all.
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#19 PBpancake

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 07:12 PM


Smash and dash bro.


did you not here him..


its a code fatty.


you dont smash and bash a fatty. becuase you dont smash at all.


I could just imagine the whale saying, "You don't smash Snorlax, SNORLAX SMASH YOU."

Man the harpoons!

#20 Vaellis

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 07:40 PM



Smash and dash bro.


did you not here him..


its a code fatty.


you dont smash and bash a fatty. becuase you dont smash at all.


I could just imagine the whale saying, "You don't smash Snorlax, SNORLAX SMASH YOU."

Man the harpoons!



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#21 Sasquatch

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 09:52 PM



just throw some cake at her then run away yelling "you're eating lies you stupid bitch!"



Holy shit that fucked up lol...Posted Image You seem to have experience with this. I loled though.


Thankfully not. But the theater teacher in high school always had me give her ideas about the haunted houses she made. One of them was a clown running around with a knife, grabbing people, and trying to drag them away. We would dress up and cause terror all around the school, and the next school day we would wear a clue as to what character we got to play for the haunted house. Did all of that with a clown suit, rainbow wig, (fake) large kitchen knife, and a couple of "real" feet and hands stuffed into my locker, that I would conveniently open and have it all come crashing out.

Apparently I scared too many people doing that, so everyone just called me "the clown" until Christmas break. :lol:

I will laugh as they overwhelm our enemies in a flurry of spotted banana hammocks.

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#22 turkey357

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 11:03 PM


just throw some cake at her then run away yelling "you're eating lies you stupid bitch!"


Nice reference! :lol:



OP, I'll tell you how to get rid of this girl.. It will take a small expense on your part, and a little planning, but it can be done.




Have her come over to your house, wear a bright pink shirt with the words "I only wear this shirt because my clown suit still has blood on it" sharpied on the chest. If she asks about it, just laugh, and tell her you thought it would be funny. Lead her to your room, to "hang out"

In your room, conveniently stash a clown suit covered in red food coloring and a large kitchen knife under your pillow. Make sure it is obviously visible from the door, and make sure you have a rainbow colored wig to go with it sitting on your dresser.

Hang up a map of your city, and put red push pins into it in random locations.

Also, keep your computer screen on, and leave it at a website showing various firearms. Shotguns, hunting rifles, pistols, machine guns, etc. If you want to push it, leave a Google search window open to "How do I get anti-depressants?"



That should work. Hopefully. If not, good luck.



Oh yeah, alternately, you could just call her a fat bitch, block her number, and give her a nice, strong, cunt punt if she comes near you. :rolleyes:


OMG!!!! HAHAHAHHAHA i laughed so hard
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#23 Baux18

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 11:06 PM

if sasquatch's plan doesn't work you can always use mine ;)
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#24 Kermit

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 11:36 PM

If you are 20ish, it's weird.

If you are 14, it's called being 14.

#25 Wolfwood

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Posted 29 July 2011 - 05:15 AM

Get Male friend.

Find Stalker.

Make out with male friend in front of stalker.

Go for tacos.

#26 Baux18

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Posted 29 July 2011 - 08:57 AM

Get Male friend.

Find Stalker.

Make out with male friend in front of stalker.

Go for tacos.


wolfwood you have to remember were not all like you.


we like girls. :P
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#27 Wolfwood

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Posted 29 July 2011 - 01:47 PM


Get Male friend.

Find Stalker.

Make out with male friend in front of stalker.

Go for tacos.


wolfwood you have to remember were not all like you.


we like girls. :P


Either that, or the girl dies.

Either way, Taco run.




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