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Funny ass things you hear on the field


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#1 paintballmasta

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 08:21 AM

Ok guys so Im making a topic for the funniest things you have heard at the field, so heres mine. When I was waiting to start a game (on speedball field) I was sitting next to this 10 year old and he was ranting and raving to his friends about all of his paintball guns, so his friends were rentals and he was like awww yea i got tht sick ego 24 and I laughed my ass off so hard. Omg he was like uh why r u laughing and i said no reason and he continued on his story about Tippmans being better than his ego 24.
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#2 TooTallNiCo

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 09:13 AM

The frozen paintball stories always get me laughing.

There was also the kid who taped a red dot sight to the barrel of his Mini.

Oh and the ten year old who told me that since his fingers were so small he could walk the trigger... On rental BT-4s

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#3 Antonious

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 09:20 AM

I remember hearing one kid asking his friend about the first paintball gun.
To which his friend replied "Tippmanns were the first ever paintball guns. Spyder and Ion just stole their design and made crappier versions of it".

It took every ounce of restraint I had not to simply burst out laughing in front of the kid.

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#4 nowan4ever

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 10:30 AM

i always love me some good "rifling makes my gun shoot 65856323537387% more accurate and 4564565 yards" sad thing was, that a ref said that and im just like no...

#5 madsnipes

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 10:35 AM

Omg my gun Is soo much better now that I Bought a sniper barrel and switched to a stock and a remote line.
Also where is that guy who talks about his "moron ex manager" I loved his stories

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#6 aj619

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 11:53 AM

The owner of a field I go to tried to tell me that electros shoot farther and are more accurate than mechs

I actually died a little inside when I head that

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#7 sagestylerpb

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 12:00 PM

I love it when new players say "wow that's a nice gun, my uncle has an ion!". I love new players lol.
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#8 Kurtis180

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 12:23 PM

People always tell me im an idiot because i say a longer barrel doesnt help :-(
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#9 Cookybiscuit

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 12:26 PM

...and I thought the guys at my field were idiots.

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#10 G4paintballer

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 12:36 PM

My friend had his voice crack as he screamed, "YOU ELECTRO PUSSY!'
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#11 aaron123129

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 12:54 PM

"50 Cal. guns are the revolution of paintball"

#12 NPpballer

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 02:08 PM

This one kid had bought a G4 and had no idea how to use it. He was talking to the ref and he was all like, "I only have it capped at 35bps semi, I could walk 50 no problem." It was so funny. Well we split up the electros he put his gun on ramping with the 35bps rof cap and he was freaking out. I laughed so hard.

#13 AverageBaller

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 02:11 PM

The ones about barrels, accuracy, red dot sights, efficenty and unreal guns like ur ego24. Lolz. Damnn 10 year olds rock

#14 Metaballer95

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 03:10 PM

Some kid said that he was gonna get an Electro so that he didn't need a Tank.

Some guy had a Heat Stroke and this 10 year old is like "he got shot in the Nuts real hard man"
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#15 pb=life

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 03:22 PM

M= me F= "Friend"

F: I got paintballing all the time
M: Oh really? How often I go a lot also I never see you around
F: At least once every 3 months
M: Oh whats your set-up?
F: Spyder Fenix and I rent everything else, what about you?
M: I normally run a phantom with 12 grams
F: Noob
M: Posted Image

#16 noob123

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 03:35 PM

i always love me some good "rifling makes my gun shoot 65856323537387% more accurate and 4564565 yards" sad thing was, that a ref said that and im just like no...

At my field the refs make up anything just to get a laugh to make there shitty jobs better

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#17 Antonious

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 03:49 PM


i always love me some good "rifling makes my gun shoot 65856323537387% more accurate and 4564565 yards" sad thing was, that a ref said that and im just like no...

At my field the refs make up anything just to get a laugh to make there shitty jobs better

I don't see how being a ref is shitty. It seems a fairly cushy job compared to most.

Edited by Antonious, 27 November 2011 - 03:50 PM.

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#18 noob123

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 04:58 PM



i always love me some good "rifling makes my gun shoot 65856323537387% more accurate and 4564565 yards" sad thing was, that a ref said that and im just like no...

At my field the refs make up anything just to get a laugh to make there shitty jobs better

I don't see how being a ref is shitty. It seems a fairly cushy job compared to most.

I play at extreme rage in south Florida and the majority of the refs are douchbags and talk shit but I just laugh with them and pay them no attention. The nice ones are the ones I'm friends with. And the refs that talk shit are usually the kids that have no life and have been working there since they were 16 and are 30 now

Edited by noob123, 27 November 2011 - 04:59 PM.

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#19 Antonious

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 05:05 PM




i always love me some good "rifling makes my gun shoot 65856323537387% more accurate and 4564565 yards" sad thing was, that a ref said that and im just like no...

At my field the refs make up anything just to get a laugh to make there shitty jobs better

I don't see how being a ref is shitty. It seems a fairly cushy job compared to most.

And the refs that talk shit are usually the kids that have no life and have been working there since they were 16 and are 30 now

Ok, I can understand that.

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#20 The Bacon Man

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 08:55 PM

My friend had a paintball b day party when I was 12, and since there were 20 people it was private games. My friend (for the lulz) did a 360 off a car (milsim field) :D.

#21 Tameron-CRP

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 09:01 PM

I was reffing one day and a kid asked me if you could shoot other stuff like arrows through paintball guns, I honestly had no idea how to respond

#22 IwannaWAFFLE

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 09:03 PM

not really a thing i heard, more of thing i did.

i went to my friends house right before we were going to go to the feild, i grabbed his Nerf long shot, took the barrel/handguard off. shoved that on his x7.. put the nerf acog scope on it..
went to the feild like that, greatest shit ever, too bad i didnt have pics.

\we got half the people there to re-act about it..

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#23 aresfiend

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 09:08 PM

Okay, last time I played the group that I jumped in with decided to play a woodsball game, everybody was a renter. After the game I ran into the woods to retrieve a pod that I had emptied and just dropped on the ground. When I was coming back out to the speedball field one of the guys was walking around looking for something from the kaos he was using. He didn't know the name of the part, so I went and borrowed one from one of the other renters quick, he pointed to the bolt and said "I was shooting and that part shot off of the gun and it started shooting like crazy!".

Apparently he had pulled the bolt pin up a little bit when he recocked his gun last game and it came up more and more until it popped out when he fired then the rammer turned sideways so at that point the sear could not catch it and it just started shooting like a mofo.

There were leaves everywhere so we were SOL.

#24 bigx

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 09:13 PM

M=Me
F=Friend

M= hey I just bought an AXE lets play a lill 1v1 in the woods
F= nah its pointless my ion shoots circles around it
M= smh

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#25 FuzzyNuttz

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 09:15 PM

"you have to get out when your gun gets shot?"

Edited by FuzzyNuttz, 27 November 2011 - 09:16 PM.

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#26 fortheloveofpaint

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 09:26 PM

"ya my my m16 shoots super accurate, ya it has like a 24 inch barrel a scope and a bi-pod so ya its pretty much the most accurate thing out there" i just laughed so hard, o then when we went and played speed ball he ran behind the dead box and said he was sniping, im just like Posted Image ur kidding, so funny

It's the same thing with thongs. It's hot when a girl wears one. But when I try to....


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#27 aresfiend

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 09:39 PM

M= hey I just bought an AXE lets play a lill 1v1 in the woods
F= nah its pointless my ion shoots circles around it
M= smh

Yes it does.....

After upps and fine tuning that is.

A bone stock Ion will get turned inside out and raped by an axe lol.

#28 Jordii

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 11:18 PM

Nothing specific, it's just the rich 10-year-olds show up to the field with Rotors on their Ego's, and they assume that because they have $3000 worth of gear, they also know EVERYTHING regarding paintball.
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#29 Vincenzo

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 11:32 PM

Haha uu guys are ganna love me this so it was me and these like 24know year olds and they wanted us to go agenst these 12for year olds pop and the had like g3 and we had like shocker eteks and so on and there like hell no I ant playing agenst them thell kick our ass and the ref was like non there noobs they don't know enything about paintball so on the way to the other side one of the 20girls year olds is like what the hell is a paintball marker and he could have been pro so we started dieing in the middel of the feild :)

#30 maximumslinky

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 11:37 PM

some kid at the field asked what hopper i had. i told him it was a prophecy. he replies with "yeah i have one too but mine is a viewloader" then pulls out a viewloader quantum
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#31 Smidiet

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 11:39 PM

I was reffing one day and a kid asked me if you could shoot other stuff like arrows through paintball guns, I honestly had no idea how to respond


Hmm you can shoot one out of a 410 shot gun so I suppose so, with modification
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#32 FloWz

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Posted 27 November 2011 - 11:52 PM

:D

Saturday was my first day ever at a speedball field, so the last game of the day was CTF w/unlimited Respawn, So I played the best I could, got shot up and what not, the funny thing about it was I ran out of Paint, So when I got shot and waited to Respawn, I put my Gun down picked up some paintballs that were on the ground and started running behind bunker to bunker throwing Paintballs at the other team. Needless to say since it was a 4-3, we won.

My first day of Speedball, will be a good memory cause of that.


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#33 bigx

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Posted 28 November 2011 - 07:17 PM


M= hey I just bought an AXE lets play a lill 1v1 in the woods
F= nah its pointless my ion shoots circles around it
M= smh

Yes it does.....

After upps and fine tuning that is.

A bone stock Ion will get turned inside out and raped by an axe lol.


All his gun has is a new trigger asa and feedneck oh wait cant froget about the new body kit for AGG

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#34 PeanutWing

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Posted 28 November 2011 - 07:19 PM

Hearing full grown men say ignorant things like "Rifling makes paint more accurate" Then talk down to me about HK Army.

#35 Cookybiscuit

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Posted 28 November 2011 - 07:23 PM

some kid at the field asked what hopper i had. i told him it was a prophecy. he replies with "yeah i have one too but mine is a viewloader" then pulls out a viewloader quantum

If thats true, thats the funniest thing ever.

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#36 FreestylePaintballer

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Posted 28 November 2011 - 07:25 PM

"Yeah, this Etek3 shoots just like an intimidator" ROFL

#37 TooTallNiCo

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Posted 28 November 2011 - 07:28 PM

There's this kid who thought every gun was an Ego. He asked me how I liked my Ego, but I shoot an Axe. Then he asked my buddy how he liked his Ego, but he shoots an Elektra.

Oh the ignorance of children

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#38 XSVfan30

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Posted 28 November 2011 - 07:29 PM

i was reffing and some girl said she wasnt playing any more because she got shot in the vagina lol
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#39 Antonious

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Posted 28 November 2011 - 08:04 PM

"Yeah, this Etek3 shoots just like an intimidator" ROFL


Umm... they kinda do actually.
Ego: http://www.zdspb.com.../ego1_large.gif
Intimidator: http://www.zdspb.com...ntimidator1.gif

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#40 Cookybiscuit

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Posted 28 November 2011 - 08:06 PM


"Yeah, this Etek3 shoots just like an intimidator" ROFL


Umm... they kinda do actually.
Ego: http://www.zdspb.com.../ego1_large.gif
Intimidator: http://www.zdspb.com...ntimidator1.gif

*Face Nuke*

He's talking shot quality :P

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#41 Antonious

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Posted 28 November 2011 - 08:13 PM



"Yeah, this Etek3 shoots just like an intimidator" ROFL


Umm... they kinda do actually.
Ego: http://www.zdspb.com.../ego1_large.gif
Intimidator: http://www.zdspb.com...ntimidator1.gif

*Face Nuke*

He's talking shot quality :P


How do you know?
The person could've been talking about operation and was just taken out of context.

Not even close to "face nuke" status...

Edited by Antonious, 28 November 2011 - 08:14 PM.

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#42 aresfiend

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Posted 28 November 2011 - 11:41 PM

All his gun has is a new trigger asa and feedneck oh wait cant froget about the new body kit for AGG


Yep, hes not shooting circles any time soon.

After he upgrades his bolt, reg, and board at LEAST to get as good as an axe.

In order to be better: Bolt, reg, board, qev, trigger, asa, and feedneck plus fine tuning the marker.




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