I'd also like to preface that I'm an adult, not a 14 year old. I don't think this situation is the end all be all of my life and maybe we can avoid the "show her your dick, that'll work" type responses
Just to give an image, this girl and I are very close and have been for years. She's 18, I'm 20. She's very sweet, she isn't a skank or an idiot else I wouldn't be involved. She's got a good heart.
So I've known her since she was a freshman in high school and I was a junior. Now she's a freshman in college and I'm a junior. We've liked each other for years but we never said anything to each other. A big reason I didn't was because she had had a boyfriend for over a year, but a lot of her friends always said she always talked about me and said it was obvious she like me so I kissed her and told her I had feelings for her a couple months ago.
She was ecstatic, she told me she has always liked me and has been waiting for me to kiss her for years. Needless to say her boyfriend and her broke up a couple days later when she told him. I would feel bad but he was a bad person anyways, she found out later he was cheating on her.
The thing is, she was moving away to a college 3 hours from mine. I asked her what we were, and she said she didn't want to label it until after she had been at school a few weeks and felt things out. So we spent the last week together before she moved and tried doing the long distance thing. I visited her 3 weeks in to school because my family has a house 20 minutes from her university. The first night there she told me she didn't want to be together. I obviously got upset and asked why, she said "It's not that I don't want to be with you, I just don't want to be with anyone". So we spent the rest of the weekend together, which was amazing and sadly said our goodbyes.
At that point I prepared myself for the fact that I needed to move on. Thing is, she still tells me she likes me all the time, and that she misses me and wants me to visit. This is very confusing. I asked her a few days ago what she expected me to do. Am I supposed to wait and hope one day she comes around? I told her I was fine with waiting if she had future intentions but I can't wait forever. I told her I didn't like feeling like I was having a carrot dangled in front of my face and at some point I have to move forward. She got upset and said "I don't know what you want me to say. I never thought we didn't have something. I've always liked you. I've always wanted to be with you. I don't understand why you think differently". So I never really got an answer out of her.
Now, for a big list of reasons I've lost all my friends since I started college and I've been dealing with crushing loneliness for about 2 years. This has made me developed fairly bad social anxiety. Long story short, I'm by myself almost every day outside of class. Due to that, most days I sit in my room, watching my phone, hoping to get a text or call (which come some days and don't others) from her and it quite literally is driving me crazy. Since I don't get out much, talking to her to what sets the tone for my day. If we don't talk at all I get very depressed
So here's the deal. This girl, I understand completely that she's a college freshman and doesn't want to be tied down even though she has feelings for me, but at some point I have to move on. I'm transferring to a university next semester (from my current junior college) where I intend to meet people. Do I wait for her to come around (if she ever does) or do I try to move on? and if so how long before I try to find someone else? I'm just extremely confused about this. On one hand she could not want to date at all and she doesn't want to tell me and hurt me, or I go try to find someone else and when I do I realize she did want something and I end up hurting her.
Edited by `kook, 31 October 2012 - 10:46 PM.