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Drinks companies can go fuck theirselves


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#1 Cookybiscuit

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 09:39 PM

Time to take my chilled beverage out of the freezer, Rubicon Mango juice. Fucking delicious. I remember the first time I had the pleasure of opening one, being astounded at the thought that had went into the sealing of it, I'm all to familiar with the shitty flip and foil method, you know the sort. Lift the latch, and underneath sits a piece of foil, laughing at you as you try and get you'r fat fingers at the lip to pull it, and the success of you'r pour lies on how lazy the manufacturer was, were they shitty and allowed it to run around the plastic?

Maybe you are a moron and prefer the cut method? Flip up one edge and cut it with scissors, I ask you, how do you reseal it? Oh yea, you can't. Enjoy you'r nice warm drink.

No, no. This beast here is far more complex, and superior, or so I thought.
Posted Image

A twist off lid, hiding a foil covering, underneath which is a thin plastic film. The levels of protection make my nipples erect, you may be thinking it sounds tedious to get through a lid, foil and plastic film, but no. The manufacturer was smart enough to incorporate the hoop design pictured, just twist the lid and the hoop pulls the foil and plastic off for you, how considerate of them.

Weeks passed, I continued to drown myself in mango lust. After forming such a strong relationship with my drink, I wasn't prepared for the horror that laid ahead.

Exploit 1: I unscrew the lid, prepare myself for the mango waterfall... but it never comes. In desperation, I pour harder, but it was no use, the hoop had betrayed me. It had managed to remove the foil, but the invisible film had remained, making the drink unpourable.

Fucking motherfucker cunt face.

Exploit 2: Twist off lid, hoop snaps. I'm left clambering at the stupid foil, even after that had been removed, the problem was left unsolved, the film remained in place. Fucking disgrace.

I truly have lost faith in humanity discovering any good way to make a drinks carton.

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#2 andrewthewookie

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 09:44 PM

Silly Brits, don't know how to design a drink container.

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#3 canscom

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 10:08 PM

Use a knife to.......OH wait
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#4 kingJurzy

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 10:25 PM

Silly Brits, don't know how to design a drink container.


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#5 cybermaniac15

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 10:27 PM


Silly Brits, don't know how to design a drink container.



#6 WiscoBaller

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Posted 04 January 2013 - 10:56 PM

what did I just read?

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#7 tallsmallboy44

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 03:35 PM

what did I just read?


fuck yolo
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#8 bigx

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 04:23 PM

Posted Image

It has the little pull loop inside the flip top.

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#9 bigshow4u

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:04 PM

here is an easier option: Posted Image

#10 A&MBaller

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:11 PM

here is an easier option: Posted Image



I like this man. Good ole water! lol

#11 Blade of grass

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Posted 05 January 2013 - 09:12 PM

Just stab the opening till juice comes out.

all my legos are stored at my parents hose... so that wont be happening....

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#12 Cookybiscuit

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 12:31 AM

Just stab the opening till juice comes out.

Remind me never to spend a night with you.

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#13 A&MBaller

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 12:36 AM


Just stab the opening till juice comes out.

Remind me never to spend a night with you.


LOL!

#14 Antonious

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 06:04 PM

Yeah, I couldn't really follow that as I've never had a drink like that before...

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#15 Lime

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 06:56 PM


here is an easier option: Posted Image



I like this man. Good ole water! lol


Only poor people drink water.

I love you.


#16 Blade of grass

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 07:05 PM


Just stab the opening till juice comes out.

Remind me never to spend a night with you.

:tup:

all my legos are stored at my parents hose... so that wont be happening....

48fhih.png

#17 kingJurzy

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 07:05 PM

Only poor people drink water.


Well have fun slowly killing yourself with your redbull and slowly becoming a Diabetic.

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#18 Blade of grass

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 07:05 PM

I'm waiting for someone to make a that's what she said joke.

all my legos are stored at my parents hose... so that wont be happening....

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#19 kingJurzy

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 07:07 PM

Remind me never to spend a night with you.

That's what my avy said.

Edited by kingJurzy, 06 January 2013 - 07:07 PM.

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#20 Blade of grass

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Posted 06 January 2013 - 07:48 PM


Remind me never to spend a night with you.

That's what my avy said.

Your avy is just a girl.

all my legos are stored at my parents hose... so that wont be happening....

48fhih.png

#21 Hitman2513

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Posted 07 January 2013 - 06:54 AM



Silly Brits, don't know how to design a drink container.


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#22 Carolus Rex

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Posted 07 January 2013 - 08:04 AM

I'm waiting for someone to make a that's what she said joke.


"That's what"

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