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Paintball anti-jokes


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#1 TheHunterPreist

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 12:44 AM

Now you all know, we all love anti-jokes so lets make some up that revolve around paintball! B)


How do you get a clown off of a swing?


you shoot him with an axe



:dodgy:
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#2 nighthunter

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 12:47 AM

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That made no sense, sorry. :P

nighthuntersig_edited-1.png



Using a gun that's been hardly maintained and tossed from person to person more than a village whore is hardly a fair way to compare the marker.

 


#3 mustangs

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 12:52 AM

At a party a guy tells a girl "I want to show you something in my room"

Girl says "sorry I'm not interested in your mini"



#4 REDCOBRA

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 01:02 AM

I own an Ion...


Is that a good joke?

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#5 TheHunterPreist

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 06:53 AM

Why did the player dive into the snake?



Because he was taking tactical cover behind an inflatable tube so he wouldin't get hit bu flying balls of paint.
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#6 SCHULER

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 06:59 AM

Why did the player dive into the snake?



Because he was taking tactical cover behind an inflatable tube so he wouldin't get hit bu flying balls of paint.



dude im trying to laugh but it hard
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#7 TheHunterPreist

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:33 AM


Why did the player dive into the snake?



Because he was taking tactical cover behind an inflatable tube so he wouldin't get hit bu flying balls of paint.



dude im trying to laugh but it hard



If you had an apple with a staw n you poked the apple though wit it and a pebble hadnt dropped through itd stop straw inside the apple because gravity cant apple
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#8 marceldacs

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:09 AM

A person lifted his mask




He died

#9 -Dublin-

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 09:35 AM

A man goes to a pro-shop. He has a custom anodized G6r. He walks up to the shop owner and says "Ask me about my gun". Unfortunately the owner does not hear him, because he went deaf in one ear as a child. He goes and serves another customer. When he comes back to the man with the G6r, the man purchases some paint. He forgets what he was going to say about the G6r.

#10 PREDATOR 47

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 09:38 AM

A guy went to play paintball one Saturday,






He had fun.

#11 madsnipes

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 03:20 PM

What shoots paintballs and looks like a real gun?

Spoiler



that is all i got

#12 marceldacs

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:12 PM

What hurts more than getting shot by a paintball?





Getting your fingers and toes amputated using a piece of dental floss drenched in rubbing alcohol.

#13 PREDATOR 47

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:18 PM

This isn't working out like I thought it would.

#14 canscom

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:25 PM

I stopped playing paintball now I have money
Stop worrying about how you look, and start worrying about how you play. Get out on the field and play paintball the best you can, not stand at home in front of a mirror trying to figure out if your jersey matches your eyes.

#15 marceldacs

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 07:47 PM

This isn't working out like I thought it would.

actually i think its working pretty good. Some of them aren't so good but i like the first one and mad snipes

#16 steelhead

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:02 PM

man dives into snake

gets eaten
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#17 Orange Chicken

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:10 PM

Hey girl, wanna see my Stiffi?
Its in my gearbag next to my wallet.

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#18 paintballguy2255

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 08:35 PM

You'll NEVER guess what I did this weekend at the field!

Slammed my balls into another dude's face.

#19 sonicx059

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 09:17 PM

I having difficulty stroking, can you give it a try?

Decided to shoot APX from now on and a woman she liked my blue balls.

I got barrel tagged from behind.

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#20 SCHULER

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 11:11 PM

I having difficulty stroking, can you give it a try?

Decided to shoot APX from now on and a woman she liked my blue balls.

I got barrel tagged from behind.



no bad
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#21 SCHULER

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Posted 18 January 2013 - 11:15 PM

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heres my sad try
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#22 lovebunny

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Posted 19 January 2013 - 10:57 AM

u guys are not funny
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#23 -Dublin-

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Posted 19 January 2013 - 11:30 AM

u guys are not funny

The funny part is laughing at how terrible our jokes are, especially mine :P

#24 Panda Man

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Posted 19 January 2013 - 11:32 AM

I would make a joke..

But I'm not that... Sly.

#25 alexdiaz1994

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Posted 19 January 2013 - 01:47 PM

anti-jokes you say


Why did the man take his Marker into the proshop?

Because it was not functioning properly and he needed assistance due to the fact that he did not posses the required technical skill

#26 Filmer_jake

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Posted 19 January 2013 - 01:59 PM

A white guy, an African American guy, a Mexican guy, and an Asian guy all walk into a pro-shop.

They all get what they need, orderly wait in line while making small talk, and left with excitement to go use their newly boughten items.

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#27 Symptomz

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 02:26 AM

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#28 TheHunterPreist

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:12 AM

a Guy goes and plays speedball for the first time


Gets bunkered while wearing JT proflex and gets a ruptured ear drum
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#29 Jawz

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 11:00 PM

They said I shot my own Teammate

Edited by Jawz, 21 January 2013 - 11:01 PM.

109.gif

 

 

 


#30 SCHULER

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:47 AM

They said I shot my own Teammate


please try again
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#31 SCHULER

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 02:49 AM

yall dont worry about me, im playing with my cocker!!!

Edited by SCHULER, 23 January 2013 - 03:06 AM.

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#32 coleroeszler

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:00 AM

all of these paintball jokes..... im practicly DYEing of laughter

#33 SCHULER

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 03:06 AM

all of these paintball jokes..... im practicly DYEing of laughter



lol
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#34 NBTIppy

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Posted 23 January 2013 - 12:32 PM

I read this whole thread trying to find out wtf an "anti-joke" is and left uninformed.

#35 Pump Player

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 03:28 PM

Anti joke is when you set up a joke that has something normal instead podcast a punchline. Like this:
A blonde, a brunette and a red head walk in a bar, they all drink beers and make small talk about work and Facebook.

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#36 marceldacs

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Posted 25 January 2013 - 06:57 PM

Or like this.
What is red and smells like blue paint

Answer: red paint.


Or

Why did Jane fall off the swing set

Answer:Because she had no arms


As you can see, the answers are supposed to be realistic but funny do to how simple it is.

#37 TheHunterPreist

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 07:42 PM

Guys whats the difference between 40 dead babies and an Planet Eclipse SL8r?


I don't have 40 dead babies in my house

Edited by TheHunterPreist, 02 February 2013 - 07:44 PM.

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#38 asthmaticrhino

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 08:06 PM

Two men walk into a paintball park.
They purchase admission, paint, and air and have fun playing.
Why wasn't Joe allowed to go paintballing again?
His parents disapproved of the cost for a day of play
Why did the man buy a luxe?
He was seaching for a quiet smooth high-end marker with a board that talks to you.
Why did the 13 year old buy a spyder? Because he wanted to put a 21 inch barrel on and make it a sniper
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#39 Fssto

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Posted 02 February 2013 - 08:08 PM

Guys whats the difference between 40 dead babies and an Planet Eclipse SL8r?


I don't have 40 dead babies in my house


Want to know the other difference? I don't own a sl8r

#40 Filmer_jake

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Posted 04 February 2013 - 11:37 AM


Guys whats the difference between 40 dead babies and an Planet Eclipse SL8r?


I don't have 40 dead babies in my house


Want to know the other difference? I don't own a sl8r


Clearly you must be confused. There are many differences between dead babies and a planet eclipse sl8r!

Such as, you cant shoot 40 dead babies! They are more like paint grenades, obviously.

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