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Its about time for a 'funny stories' thread


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#1 Cookybiscuit

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 05:53 PM

Lets hear about the time someone shit in one of the bunkers etc.

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#2 EmpirePB

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 06:08 PM

i was reffing this bachelor's group and the one dude was joking around, he goes what if paintball had grenades? i told him we sold them, and they're real haha. needless to say his face went like this Posted Image brb. bought 30 grenades haha

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#3 DBeck

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 06:13 PM

I was playing D-side once and my pants fell down after a rough slide. needless to say i was snapshooting with one hand and in the other holding my pants. then i got bunkered... in the balls... and it hurt ALOT

#4 Gary Preciado

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 06:21 PM

I was at paintball jungle in Vallejo cal it was the last game of the day and I had one hopper left. It was a 1v2 I was the only one left and I was running to hide in a bunker and tripped over a tree root. I fell down and before I could even get up. I got shot 3 times in the ass. It was pretty funny after and the guy that shot me said sorry :) but there was no need to after all it was kinda my fault they were just playing the game

#5 LUXOR54

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 06:24 PM

playing woodsball i didn't realize that one of the plastic snaps on the side of my pants had broken off because i was crouching. i decided to storm the fort, about 15 seconds later my pants were around my ankles and i was waddling behind a pile of tires.

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#6 Orange Chicken

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 06:31 PM

One time when we used to play outlawball in the desert, I made a hunger games run to the center table of paint and towels, took a pod and some toilet paper, then hauled ass far out into the desert, dug a hole out with my hand, and shit right then and there.

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#7 DasJaco

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 06:32 PM

Shot a guy in the barrel last weekend. All I heard from the bunker was "FUCK YOU!"

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#8 FireFly*

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 06:41 PM

kid slipped, when he got up he was on all fours, face down ass up looking back at me.
I shot him right in the butt hole. :blink:

#9 Orange Chicken

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 06:44 PM

One time when we used to play outlawball in the desert, I made a hunger games run to the center table of paint and towels, took a pod and some toilet paper, then hauled ass far out into the desert, dug a hole out with my hand, and shit right then and there mid game.

Do I win?

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#10 Manch Vegas Baller

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 06:58 PM

A kid in the staging area asked "how long do I have before the grenade blows up after I pull the pin?" My friend replied "dude you got maybe 3 seconds so throw it fast!" Next game kid pulled the pin, panicked, squeezed the grenade and it blew it's load all over him...needless to say we laughed our asses off

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#11 tallsmallboy44

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 07:01 PM

One time when we used to play outlawball in the desert, I made a hunger games run to the center table of paint and towels, took a pod and some toilet paper, then hauled ass far out into the desert, dug a hole out with my hand, and shit right then and there.

So. I should buy a Disruptive tank?

fuck yolo
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#12 iNicker

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 07:07 PM


One time when we used to play outlawball in the desert, I made a hunger games run to the center table of paint and towels, took a pod and some toilet paper, then hauled ass far out into the desert, dug a hole out with my hand, and shit right then and there.

So. I should buy a Disruptive tank?


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#13 Annually

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 08:41 PM

We were doing this minigame at my local field where you could not use a hopper, and you had to hand load each round into your marker. One of my friends was doing this and somehow he kept pulling the trigger when he still had his finger or something in the breech with a tippman 98. His finger ended up being pretty badly swollen at the end of the day.

#14 TippmannPlayer97

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 09:32 PM

Defending the castle at orbital is hard to do with jeans 2 sizes too big, while using Pump Player's purple rail on 15 bps full auto. But the most embarassing moment was when i asked someone for extra paint, a nice guy happily gave me a pod of Evil, and i dumped half on the ground......

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#15 madsnipes

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 09:42 PM

Allow me to summarize this thread so far...
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Edited by madsnipes, 11 May 2013 - 09:43 PM.


#16 Garribean

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 09:48 PM

There was almost a fight today over someone not getting out or some shit. Ref was saying he was going to shut down the speedball field if they kept acting like kids. The guys that were bitching all left after that game.

Edited by Garribean, 11 May 2013 - 09:48 PM.


#17 Poopfairy35

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 09:51 PM

Got bored on my second time going paintballing waiting for the next game to open. I decided to buy a paint grenade. I pulled the pin off & we played hot potato with it. My poor friend could only taste paint for the rest of the day. All in all, best $6 I've ever spent.
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#18 IPlaySoccer

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 10:11 PM

I was playing D-side once and my pants fell down after a rough slide. needless to say i was snapshooting with one hand and in the other holding my pants. then i got bunkered... in the balls... and it hurt ALOT

Mike did that at Extreme Rage.

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#19 NBTIppy

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Posted 11 May 2013 - 11:25 PM

One time during a rec woodsball game a buddy of mine decided to put his gun down and run around the field with his arms out making air plane noises while the new players shot at him from way too far away.

Last week with one ball in left I decided to try and take someone with me, bunkered the guy in the balls

#20 Murphstyle

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Posted 12 May 2013 - 09:41 AM

Me and my brothers used to paintball across the street from our house under the powerlines. We were playing like a 4 vs 4 and one of the kids in back wasn't paying attention, well my brother is in a bunker maybe 10 feet ahead of him, goes to poke his head out and takes 2 or 3 right in the back of his head. I thought it was hilarious, my brother on the other hand was a little upset.
pain forces us to make bad decisions... fear of pain is almost as big of a motivator

#21 PandasEverywhere

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Posted 12 May 2013 - 10:36 AM

A guy at my field was eating mcdonalds behind a bunker...

#22 Orange Chicken

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Posted 12 May 2013 - 01:46 PM

A guy at my field was eating mcdonalds behind a bunker...

Hey me and this 12 year old kid climbed to the top of this tower during a scenario game. We were supposed to be the lookouts. We decided to eat doritos, some burritos from taco bell, and some monsters, while watching netflix on my phone. The other team ended up taking the fort, and they didnt even notice us up there until the game ended.

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#23 NJC

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Posted 12 May 2013 - 01:51 PM


A guy at my field was eating mcdonalds behind a bunker...

Hey me and this 12 year old kid climbed to the top of this tower during a scenario game. We were supposed to be the lookouts. We decided to eat doritos, some burritos from taco bell, and some monsters, while watching netflix on my phone. The other team ended up taking the fort, and they didnt even notice us up there until the game ended.


i have brought a box of pizza onto the field with me before

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#24 Poopfairy35

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Posted 12 May 2013 - 04:17 PM

Answered a phone call in the middle of a game. I got shot in the butt 2 minutes into the call. Can you imagine hearing from the other end of the phone, "it bounced!"

Edited by Poopfairy35, 12 May 2013 - 04:18 PM.

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#25 Toxin PB

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Posted 12 May 2013 - 04:53 PM

There was almost a fight today over someone not getting out or some shit. Ref was saying he was going to shut down the speedball field if they kept acting like kids. The guys that were bitching all left after that game.

Yep, it was pretty stupid

#26 stinkfingr

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Posted 13 May 2013 - 08:32 AM

a few years back when i was playing way more woodsball, i had been one of the "regulars" and our field, and would always try to sort of "look out" for new players and try to be of help if they needed it, or looked lost, or whatever. So in comes a guy, 33-ish, with a little kid in tow. the kid looked to be about 10, or 11, and he seemed a little nervous.

So I'm thinkin, "Cool, Dad has brought his son in to play and learn to love the game" . So I figured i would try to keep my eye out for them in case anyone were to go rambo on them or whatever... when they split up for teams, dad made sure that son was with him, and off they went. Well, about the third game, I had kinda forgot about them. I had run up the gut of the field, instead of going around the flank, and I was about 1 bunker away from the flag, but I saw the top of a visor just barely sticking out from behind the nearest bunker to the flag station, and I knew someone was in there and i would have to take them out to get the flag. I started laying down some cover fire to keep them down while i sprinted around the corner of the bunker to take them out. As i rounded the corner, I see this little 10 year kid, all hunkered down in the corner of the bunker, looking scared to death. Dad was no where to be seen ... i dont know if he had advanced or was shot out, but the kid was alone.

I stood there looking at him, and I couldn't shoot him .... he just looked so vulnerable and scared, ... so i just kinda waved to him, and turned, and started towards the flag. That little shit unloaded about 10 balls onto my ass from about 10 feet away... OUUUUCH ...

I REALLY HATE ass shots !

#27 cavemag

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Posted 14 May 2013 - 07:55 AM

I was reffing a bachelor party once. Lets just say they teamed up on the groom without him knowing
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#28 BombrMan

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 03:41 AM

When me and my buddy are doing intermediate walk on and no one else wants to play we usually ask to do 1v1 on the speedball field. So we go out there, he has an autococker or something, it's heavy and loud, and I have a tpx. It's night, but there are lights, but the main thing is still trying to see the other guy. I have the TPX so I'm sprinting right off the bat. He knows I have the TPX so he's sprinting too. We see eachother, start shooting eachother but neither of us stops running, so all bounces and misses. We both run into a bunker for like 2 sec, since I have to reload, then start sprinting again. We both see eachother again and keep running and gunning (which is mostly both of us running away from eachother shooting backwards). I get shot in the ass like 3 times he gets shot in the ass like 2 times. We both yell BOUNCES and keep running. We keep this up for 2 laps around the field. At this point the ref is literally down on the floor laughing. Probably shot eachother like 20 times each all bounces, all in the ass and back. We had to stop because I was laughing so hard I couldn't keep laughing and sprinting around and breathing at the same time, I just had to give up and collapse.

#29 Manch Vegas Baller

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Posted 15 May 2013 - 09:31 PM

I played a big game about a month ago, and a guy drilled a slightly bigger hole in his flex bottoms so he could put a cigarette through. Well we stormed the castle and he popped up to see where the other team was, and had his cigarette shot...the fit this guy threw over a stupid cigarette had me and the ref laughing so hard

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#30 Jawz

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 05:55 PM

My first time playing, I got shot, was so shocked i dropped my rental, went to pick it up knocked my mask off and got tackled down and dogpiled by a couple of ref's and random players. At this moment is when I decided to start playing paintball :o
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#31 EmpirePB

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Posted 16 May 2013 - 06:00 PM

Was reffing a bachelor party on the speedball field, start the game and both teams walked up to each other an unloaded on the bachelor. Even the bachelor had a blast

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