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#1 Sasquatch

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 04:50 AM

This is a discussion with a customer of mine today after fixing their computer:

"So... What exactly was wrong with it?"

"A lot. The hard drive was falling apart, mostly, so I had to replace that first. Then I had to change some of the network settings so you can connect to the new network. And after that, I had to rebuild the virtual directory for the FTP server."

"Right.. So I have a new hard drive now?"

"Yep"

"Is my computer faster with it?"

"Yeah, A little bit"

"Ok, cool. How much data can it hold?"

"Uh.. I think thats a standard 80gb hard drive"

"80, huh? So that holds...?"

"Probably twice as much as your old one. Its a newer hard drive"

"Oh, wow... So, my computer would weigh twice as much once I fill that thing up?"

"Ye - Wait.. What?" :blink:

"Will my computer weigh more when its full?"

:huh: "...No... It will weigh the same..."

"Oh, sweet. I love how this new technology stuff works! More space with less weight. Its awesome!"

:mellow: "Yeah, man. It really is..."




.....Sigh <_<

I will laugh as they overwhelm our enemies in a flurry of spotted banana hammocks.

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#2 ZackMartin

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 05:12 AM

hahaahh thats great. "will it weigh more" ... I would have had so much fun with that

"Why yes it does sir its another 20 pounds heavier but well worth it" :lol:
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#3 Sasquatch

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 05:44 AM

Yeah, Ive gone up to a couple of out of place looking people at Best Buy and asked some crazy questions (favorite was "My friend told me my computer needed more ram, so I kept kicking it, and now it doesnt turn on.. What happened?"), but to ask if the computer will be heavier with a full hard drive, and being serious about it, is almost ludicrous.

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#4 Gus!

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 07:30 AM

LOL fail. That really is sad.
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#5 ZackMartin

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 08:38 AM

Yeah, Ive gone up to a couple of out of place looking people at Best Buy and asked some crazy questions (favorite was "My friend told me my computer needed more ram, so I kept kicking it, and now it doesnt turn on.. What happened?"), but to ask if the computer will be heavier with a full hard drive, and being serious about it, is almost ludicrous.


rofl that just made my day. :lol:
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#6 TK-421

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 01:18 PM

Here, try these on for size. http://www.stumbleup.../cs_abuse.shtml

#7 BEASTY

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 01:38 PM

/epicfacepalmtofuberepicness

thats sad...

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#8 HeroForADay

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 01:44 PM

When the hell was this last dudes computer? like 1990?

#9 TK-421

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 01:51 PM

The stories may be old, but they're still funny as hell.

#10 Trum_15

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 02:37 PM

Was it a crazy Korean dude? you would think if the stereotypes were right, they are suppose to know about all that stuff right?

#11 quackSH

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 03:30 PM

I feel your pain. My friends Mom asked for help "fixing" her monitor, it was just unplugged. The most pathetic thing is that she actually checked to make sure that it was plugged in and didn't notice that it wasn't. They also have their CPU in a computer stand that is too small to hold it and it keeps overheating. There is about 1/4 of a inch of space between the back of the CPU and the wooden back of the stand. My friend kicks the CPU when it overheats... They still tell me that it never overheats and that there is some mysterious problem that causes their computer to stop working every 10-15 minutes.

#12 TK-421

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 03:37 PM

I feel your pain. My friends Mom asked for help "fixing" her monitor, it was just unplugged. The most pathetic thing is that she actually checked to make sure that it was plugged in and didn't notice that it wasn't. They also have their CPU in a computer stand that is too small to hold it and it keeps overheating. There is about 1/4 of a inch of space between the back of the CPU and the wooden back of the stand. My friend kicks the CPU when it overheats... They still tell me that it never overheats and that there is some mysterious problem that causes their computer to stop working every 10-15 minutes.


XD Wow, your friend and his family, just wow.

#13 Trum_15

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 03:40 PM

my friends dad started yelling, "PETER PETER, GET THE FUCK OUT HERE!". we were like okay (this was at 7 30) "what?" "how the fuck do you go down a line when your typing". we started laughing SO hard. hit the enter key and left, as we are leaving we hear, "how da fuck did you do that?".

#14 TK-421

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 03:48 PM

Lmao, it's always entertaining when people don't know how to do something, and you do it for them without seeing. Made me remember one of the stories on the link I gave.

"During a college course, we were being showed how to plug all the components of a PC together properly. Getting a little bored, I glanced over at the student next to me fumbling with all his cords and bending all the way over the desk to see the rear of the PC (apparently it was too difficult for him to turn it around). While he was doing so, I turned the brightness knob on his monitor all the way over so that when he finally got the cables plugged in the correct order, nothing was on his screen. I leaned over to "help." I said, "Let me see if this works," and slapped the side of the monitor while inconspicuously turning the brightness knob back up with my other hand. The next time he turned around, I turned the brightness knob back down again and left the room. When I came back, the poor guy was beating that monitor senseless."

#15 Sasquatch

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 04:07 PM

Has anyone ever had the pleasure of witnessing a "broken cupholder"? :lol:

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#16 TK-421

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 04:11 PM

No, but I know I've seen a cupholder before that goes into a bay for your CD drive. Just don't know where I saw it.

#17 acidblasta

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 06:00 PM

Tk that web page is win. I lol'd so hard yet I cringe for those poor computers.

I used to be a technician on the U.S.S. Ranger, an aircraft carrier, just before the Gulf War. A new commanding officer had just come on board, and, in preparation for our excursion out to Iraq, he ordered that we go through all our spaces and ensure that everything was secured in place, so that if we hit rough seas, or hit something explosive, there wouldn't be debris flying everywhere. Fairly standard routine.

About two days later, the Ranger's marine detachment called my shop and said, "Our computer is broken." So I head down to the detachment office to take a look. These PCs were the old Zenith Z-248 desktop models, secured with four zillion screws and weighing in at what seemed like half a ton. Our marines had taken the order to secure things pretty seriously, because they had done it with two half inch lag bolts. They had drilled straight through the case, the mother board, the bottom of the case, and the desk it was sitting on, to drop the lag bolts in place.

They couldn't figure out what was wrong, but they knew that it wasn't going anywhere.


Hoorah Marines! I that just makes me laugh.

But I have to say this is a winner right here

About a year ago, I was called out to do field service. When I got to the lady's house and was let in, the first thing I noticed was the smell of gunpowder. The second, the double barreled 12-gauge shotgun lying on the couch. Third, the big gaping hole in the side of her computer. (It was one of those Macs where the CPU and monitor are in the same housing.)

I looked at her. She was a little grey haired woman, around 60 or so. Had she? Not possible. Still, I had to ask.

  • Me: "Did you shoot...?"
  • Customer: "Yes, I got a little mad at it. They told me I couldn't hurt it, but I think they were wrong. Can you salvage anything?"
I mumbled something about not being a Mac tech and told her I would send one out as soon as I could. Then I burned rubber out of there.

About a month later, my boss called me in; he had the woman on hold. She had apparently complained that I was not competent and that I had lied when I said I would send out a competent Mac tech -- or perhaps I just hadn't been able to find anyone competent working for us. I filled him in. He paused for a second, picked up the phone, and said, "Ma'am? Did you put a shotshell into your computer? ... Uh huh...I'm sorry, ma'am, we really can't...well, no.... I'll try to send one out.... Nice doing business with you...." He hung up, looked at me, and said, "You think any of our Mac techs will go?" I shook my head. "Me neither."

We heard from her again last week, when my boss told me that the woman had called up to cuss me out, saying not only was I a "young whippersnapper" but also a liar, since one of our competitors had fixed her computer just fine, even fixing the little scratches and stuff on the monitor glass. That sounded fishy, so I went over and talked with the techs. After a case of canned drinks and a few bags of junk food, I wormed the whole story out of them. Apparently, about the only salvagable part was the hard drive (which the buckshot had missed), so they took it out, went out and bought a whole new computer, slapped the hard drive in, and presented it to the lady as her repaired computer -- of course charging her an arm and a leg.


man some people shouldn't be allowed the use of technology.
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#18 TK-421

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 06:05 PM

Those are my two favorite stories. And that's just one section. The website has like a dozen sections, all related to idiots and computers. And my favorite t-shirt of all time is this.

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#19 abusive pepper

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Posted 26 April 2010 - 10:10 PM

thats pretty pathetic
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#20 Cubeman

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Posted 26 April 2010 - 10:18 PM

thats pretty pathetic


You've made a bunch of necroposts lately. You only have 20 posts, and I'd say about 20% of them are necroposts. That's bad even on my standards. I don't want to play mod here, but I'm just saying that you might get a warn or something if you continue to post on extremely old threads

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#21 NuMnUm9000

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Posted 27 April 2010 - 12:24 AM


thats pretty pathetic


You've made a bunch of necroposts lately. You only have 20 posts, and I'd say about 20% of them are necroposts. That's bad even on my standards. I don't want to play mod here, but I'm just saying that you might get a warn or something if you continue to post on extremely old threads


In all fairness, Cube, abusive pepper might be new to forums. So pepper just make sure you check the dates before you post. I don't post on anything more than about 2 days old, usually.

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#22 Sgt Moose

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Posted 27 April 2010 - 03:05 PM

My personal favorite - "The internet's broken"



#23 Sgt Moose

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Posted 27 April 2010 - 03:22 PM

^ Oops I contributed to a necropost, my bad.



#24 Gtracer

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Posted 27 April 2010 - 03:30 PM

I <3 this thread.
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#25 DanDaMan

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Posted 27 April 2010 - 04:10 PM


thats pretty pathetic


You've made a bunch of necroposts lately. You only have 20 posts, and I'd say about 20% of them are necroposts. That's bad even on my standards. I don't want to play mod here, but I'm just saying that you might get a warn or something if you continue to post on extremely old threads


You realize that this post is only like two months old? That's not that bad, dude. When TechPB was still small, it was said that generally anything over three months old was a necropost.

So...

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#26 pbmaniac97

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Posted 27 April 2010 - 10:19 PM

o my god this topic thread is going into my sig
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#27 psither

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Posted 28 April 2010 - 07:49 PM

Oh man, i'm totally going to have to say something about, umm, something, in about three months...

#28 Stinger

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Posted 28 April 2010 - 10:12 PM

LOL.

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