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Member Since 24 Aug 2009
Offline Last Active Feb 03 2012 01:09 PM

Topics I've Started


07 August 2012 - 04:16 PM

No, this is not about the sport side of the Olympics, just my personal experience so far.

So, I work at the Olympics. As security. More specifically on a screening checkpoint.

Now, I'm going to backtrack to my training. While the training itself wasn't hard and the trainers were good at what they did. HOLY FUCKING SHIT some people there. Just. Should. Not. Be. There. Some people couldn't even speak English. Some were just plain retarded. Some even went to fucking sleep. If you can't even stay awake for a 7 hours for training on that day. You shouldn't be in security. I have never wanted to jump the desk and strangle someone so badly in my life.

I wasn't even able to get my ID and uniform until the day I was meant to start. Bye bye just over 100. Fucking shambles the way that was all dealt with.
Oh and the uniform. Just... whoever made it, should be shot. Fucking green. Dark green trousers. BRIGHT FUCKING GREEN POLYESTER POLO SHIRT. Oh holy hell, whoever thought it would be funny to make us wear a fucking polyester shirts in summer needs to die. Bright green fleece. It's just so fucking disgusting.

Now that that's out of the way, let's get onto my first day at work. I get to work, told to go to the athletes hotel. (I'm not at the Olympic park) Get put on a checkpoint, I have my screening skills tested and I get told to be a male screener. Ok that's fine. Who's the other male screener so I can rotate out of it every now and then? "Oh, you're the only competent male screener here, you'll have to do it for your entire shift." Wait, I was told that we would all get to rotate. That's fucking bullshit right there. But I do it anyway since I don't really want to make a bad impression. Oh and here's the best bit.

The police were putting the hotel on lockdown that day. Since it's still a public hotel and the athletes only rented out 6 floors of it. There were still members of the public in there. Oh, and for a lock down, every single person and bag has to come out and be screened. Floor by floor. All through 1 checkpoint. 1. Who's the only male screener? Me. Now we only screen if the metal detector goes off. But still. That's an entire hotel. On my first bloody day.

The amount. Of bloody phones I found on that day. Probably about 40. Also, belts, metal glasses cases, glasses. Shit, just put it through the fucking x-ray machine and I won't have to search you.

Then, you see the one guy in the line. That one that you just know is LEAKING bodily fluids. REEKS of the most disgusting human smell possible. The one that waddles into the checkpoint. Forgets, that he has a metal plate in his shoes. I spent a good 5 minutes trying to find whatever set the metal detector off. Best part. I wasn't even given gloves until AFTER he went through.

Now as the next 2 weeks go, I'm on night shifts, the "team leaders" are like 20 at most and know jack fucking shit.

God this "security" is a fucking shambles. The amount of shit that happens that just shouldn't is stupid. Which I will add as the days go by if I am able to.

TL;DR: Just read it.

Weekend that's just gone by.

25 June 2012 - 05:14 PM

So, this is just a little document of what not to do at the weekend under these circumstances.


Had a shower and stubbed my toe making me almost fall... nice start to the day.

Walked up to the shop, bought a 700ml bottle of Baileys, about 12
Went down to my friends canal boat, who also has a really large garden perfect for BBQ's which is what we did.
Time is about 3pm, eat burgers and all that meaty goodness. (So far so good)

Open that bottle of Baileys and start drinking.
Time is now about 5pm. All the Baileys is gone and I'm the only one drinking it. Oops, oh well I can take this much alcohol fairly easily so I'm just drunk, and happy. We're all having a good time.
Around 6pm. I have the brilliant idea of "I'm going to do some Jagerbombs" (or however it's spelt, I don't know, I don't really care)
Go back up to the shop buy 8 cans of redbull 8.80 and a bottle of Jagermeister 18.99
Get back to the BBQ, Do about 3 Jagerbombs to 1 can of Redbull in the space of about 2 hours.

The party continues fine.
Starts to get late, some people go home, we stay around a fire drinking cider.
About 2am, truth or dare or something happens (by this point I'm barely knowing what's going on.)
Might have kissed the chubby chick, Oh well, it's all good but I can't really remember it so that sucks haha.

I start to fall asleep, so a good friend let's me sleep in the tent they brought.
Wake up several times feeling sick, Hold it down like a boss and go back to sleep.
Wake up at about 5 am on Sunday and Remember.


Hurry home, get into a proper bed to try and get some better sleep. Wake up at 7am feeling sick.
Rush to the window and puke a little bit onto my neighbours pathway and hold the rest down (still kinda drunk at this point, was also the first time I've ever been sick due to alcohol).
Hear my mum say "What the fuck is going on up there!?"
Come down almost naked feeling ill and lie on the cool cool tiles of the kitchen floor. Feels amazing and makes me feel better. Can hear my mum trying not to laugh as she gets a sick bucket. (Don't need it yay?)
Sit in the shower for a bit and sober up.

9am, Get changed into a Gi, get a lift from my mum to my Dojo.
10:30 am, No hangover but I feel ill. Fake smiles for the kids. Some of the adults smile at me knowingly trying not to laugh.
Bounce around teaching karate for an hour and a half.
Finish the class, told that it's been one of the more fun ones that I've done.

That is what I can remember in that sort of order I think.
So, moral of the story. Don't go out on Saturday and get hammered if you have to teach or do something important on Sunday. I hope this helps and if you laughed as much as I did writing this. Then that's good too.

Total cost of the night about 35-40 (I am not doing the math)
Cost of hopefully never forgetting something important: Priceless.

You think you've had a bad day?

07 March 2012 - 06:16 PM

Don't do this.

10 January 2012 - 08:07 PM

You all know that funny little prank where someone will post a rant about being scared of spiders and you all post spider pics. Just don't.

Just last night I had a good friend around my house, I had found out that she had arachnophobia, and I thought it would be like mine. Makes you jump and freak out for a bit. So I, as a joke put a picture of a spider on my door so when she closed it, it would make her jump.

What actually happened was her screaming and falling on the floor crying. Turns out her phobia is really bad. Soo, you will feel like a complete dick and have to comfort someone for quite awhile. Luckily I was forgiven since I didn't know, but the point still stands.

If someone says they have a phobia of something, do not post pictures of it. If you're really so immature that you have to, please put spoiler tags and saying that there is a spider picture in it because you really never know if it's going to backfire badly.

If someone is going to post spider pictures in here, just don't. I will consider that as a pathetic attempt at trolling and has no place here. I'm just saying this because I have now realised that playing on someone's fears is a seriously bad thing to do.


09 January 2012 - 08:06 AM

So I finally got round to making a rant about this.

So, (and this is related) me and my alarm have a Love - Hate relationship, I hate it because I pisses me off to the point of me wanting to burn a hole through it with my laser. Then smash it to pieces. But this also wakes me up very well so I love it.

Now, I do like Starbucks, they do nice coffee in my opinion, I don't care if you don't like it, I do. But; and this is a very big but.

Why. The. FUCK! Must the use the same bloody alarm for their timers as my alarm at home. So I'm just in line talking to a friend, blah blah blah. Then, the bloody alarm goes off and it just fills me with this bloodthirsty rage that make me want to pick up the person behind the counter and chuck them at everything that makes noise.

So, to protect my blood pressure and the lives of your employees, please change the timer alarm you use. Thank you