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Soldier of Fortune

Member Since 11 Jul 2011
Offline Last Active Nov 22 2015 04:35 PM

Topics I've Started

I'm a sorry piece of shit...

12 November 2013 - 11:52 AM

So last night I got dumped and I guess this is my sleep deprived way of coping with what just happened.  The worst thing is I deserve what happened in every way.  You see my last relationship was a friends with benefits sort of thing which to be honest left me feeling pretty pathetic.  It is no exaggeration when I say we had sex 3 to 4 times every day, some days alot more.  Towards the end I realized I didn't want this to be all it was so I ended it and we both parted ways on fairly good terms. (yes I a 19 year old kid thought I was having too much sex)


anyway so that's where the events leading up to last night begin.  after 2 weeks or so of college I meet a girl.  She is the dorkiest, sweetest, funniest, most beautiful thing that ever walked into my life. (yeah sappy shit i know but i'm still feeling a bit of shell shock)  We hit it off nicely at first, our first conversation lasting 3 hours before we noticed that they were closing the dining center and we had to leave.  Since then it has been one of the happiest times of my life and rarely did my face go without a smile.  


And this is where my own stupidity begins to get in the way.  It began innocently enough kissing then caressing, then I started pressuring her to fool around, now this doesn't mean I forced her to do anything but I feel about as disgusting as if I had.  We had obviously talked about sex and all that and she was very on the fence about it.  So of course me being the asshole that I am figured I'd do her a favor and convince her to push her limits.  It began with just the small stuff, messing around no one gets hurt right?  Well of course me being the selfish fucking idiot that I am couldn't be content with this.  So i pushed her farther and farther until we were both lying there next to one another, anticipation filling the air and yeah well that happened.  after that it all started to fall apart.  


at first it all seemed fine.  We still laughed together, joked around but i slowly began to notice she was pushing me out.  Her smile didn't quiet reach her eyes and she seemed to be closing down, locking me out of what she was feeling.  I knew she was going through alot at the time, possible surgery, school wasn't going to well, I just assumed it would pass.


Last night I get a text. I was up in my dorm doing homework and she was wondering if I wanted to hang out in her dorm, on the floor below mine.  This was not out of the ordinary so I went down to see what was up.  We had been talking about nothing, laughing having a good old time for about a half an hour when out of the blue she drops the bomb.  Did I expect it? yes.  Right then? not at all. She starts to tell me she just isn't ready for this.  That her life has to much going on that she can't control and this is the one thing that she change about her life. she starts crying and tells me she doesn't want to lose me and she doesn't want to hurt me, and she falls into my arms sobbing and all I can do is hold her and tell her it will all turn out ok.  That I would do everything with in my power to keep her, but I would never try and make her stay.  She keeps telling me shes sorry and I do believe she meant it however I know that this is all on me. we sit there for what must have been 2-3 hours when I get ready to leave.  When I get to the door I turn around and look back at her hoping she has it in her to forgive me.  Her tear streaked eyes were bagging me to stay and I was frozen there with my hand on the door torn between doing what she needs and being who she needs. This was no easier for her either, tears starting to well up she asks me to tuck her into bed and stay with her until she falls asleep.  she has to take medicine for her hip impingement so she was asleep in about 15 minutes. I stayed a little longer until I was sure and then I walked away...


So here I am 10 hours later and no sleep later knowing I fucked up and that I can't fix a single thing 

Living Legends 7

20 May 2013 - 12:18 AM

LL6 was an incredible experience and I am already chomping at the bit for next year. Post up any suggestions or changes that you would like to see for next year's event or what you thought worked well.

The Good
Air at insertion points was a huge plus for the guys definitely a well made decision there.

Everyone seemed to better understand the rules regarding rockets and props than last year's event.

Water at insertion saved me from keeling over half way through the game Saturday. As a medic I didn't want to waste time getting water from the vendors when I was needed on the field.

Wounded Warrior tanks. Maybe divide them evenly between teams next year as they were much more mobile than other tanks and quieter as well.

New Empire for only having a few hours to set up shop with communications and missions managed to do a hell of a job getting organized. Wolf is the MAN! Posted Image

Chrono lines moved fast and never got too backed up.

Restrooms and porti-potties hardly had lines.

Food was great Posted Image

The Bad

Horde seemed as if it had problems getting organized, maybe get team commanders together earlier next year.

People seemed to be having problems with Marbs. I did a drop test on each of the 3 bags I got friday and even when I went from above head height (I'm 6' 5") they still didn't break on cement. Also I noticed a large portion of the guys I revived had hopper, gun, and tank hits. I do realize however paint has way too many variables to control and this was something that couldn't be fixed.

There was some confusion with the refs as to just how mission cards worked. EX: New Empire received an order to blow up the Mayan Mountains (hill between Bedlam and Armageddon). The Demo expert for Blood Legion asked a ref where the bomb needed placed. Ref didn't know but he did find a senior ref after 10 min or so. Either refs need more instruction as to missions or cards need to be more exact.

The Ugly

Orange's battle cry! Posted Image

Had a blast and can't wait for next year!

Helpful Advice

13 May 2013 - 07:26 PM

For those of you running Any Tiberius marker one of our recurring nightmares is having a mag drop out mid-game. Now at our home field this may not be a problem due to the fact you are the only or one of the only people running the platform, but at big games such as LL6 everyone and their mother is running Tibs. So I have a simple solution you guys. Take a bright 2in wide roll of tape (water resistant/ blue masking) and wrap it around the 12g you are putting in your mag. if you are running remote just put an empty 12g in its place. Write your phone number 2 to 3 times lengthwise on the 12g. You definitely want to write it multiple times in case your writing smudges/ wipes off. Then just insert in mag and crank it down so at least one of the numbers is clearly visible.

Doing this will help get your mag returned to you is quickly as possible. Also no more need to deal with that nasty tape residue on your mags.

Please post up any more helpful tips you have for IDing your gear.

Smoke Grenades?

08 May 2013 - 01:21 AM

Will they be available?

Re- Hydro available?

04 May 2013 - 12:18 AM

will re hydroing be offered by any of the dealers this year at the event? I want to sell one of my tanks but I want to get it hydroed first.